Another Night Without Sleep

[gregl515]

I am feeling trapped and it is causing me to lose sleep. I am waiting for my job to start and my ankle and foot keep me largely inactive. I exercise, but I can do only mainly upper body and core exercises. In the past, my workouts featured a lot of leg exercises, so I feel I am doing nothing.

A friend asked me what I wanted from my marriage since my wife and I are separated. I finally admitted that I wanted everything, my marriage, my therapy, my life as it is to be done. I don't mean that I want to die, I just want to start over.

After my marriage broke up, I learned that my wife has borderline personality disorder. She sees everything in black and white from a position of anger and fear. She masks this by being outwardly a warm and loving person. Inside, she fears that things will drag her down. Including apparently me.

I still love her, I just don't think I can prove it to her and I guess I'm done trying.

Just 3:30 a.m thoughts.

[Aoife]

Every day is a new day. You wake up (or not so much) and start anew. You pick a path to walk, and you walk it. Maybe it is the same path you always walk. Maybe it is forging into new territory with a machete and torch in hand. You can set your goals, pick your obstacles to tackle, order your priorities.

Every day has potential. Everything has meaning. Everything we do and see and touch and experience affects us, and we get to choose how it does so.

There is no true reality. Simply our own perceptions and baggage.

There's no message here in the silly ravings of a spacey girl still up at 4am.
Other than that I hope tomorrow you choose a path that is meaningful to you and in that you find a reason to smile.

Take care.