Hey guys. I strongly suspect that I'm asking a question that no one's going to have an answer for.
My issue: sparring freaks me out! Do I get hurt during sparring? No, not meaningfully. But I have an issue somehow. There are a few people that I spar with in class that hit pretty hard, and go real fast. Now, I'm pretty small and I have bad balance at the best of times so I'm probably feeling it more than most people would. But the issue here is not that I'm getting hurt, it's that sparring with these people sends me to a really shitty part of my brain and before I know it I am scared out of my wits. With one of these people, I don't even try to throw any kicks anymore, I look like an idiot. Cus he sends me backwards even when I have both feet on the ground, I can't bring myself to compromise that balance.
So: since some of you have trained with many students over the years I'm thinking there's a chance that you've had to work with someone like me? If so: what can I do to improve this situation?
I hate to appear too much of a wimp. But persevering doesn't seem to be improving manners in this department, if anything it is getting worse. (ie, I start the match terrified, instead of getting to that point after receiving a few kicks.)
You've answered your own question...it's about psyching up properly.
Take some quiet time in the house before you leave for a training session. Breathe deeply and calmly. Close your eyes and visualise the sparring session. See yourself performing correctly and calmly. Reading and anticipating your opponent's moves. Putting together effective combinations without telegraphing them. Circling rather than backing off.
This will take practice, and it won't fix things over night, but this is why you train, so that you can overcome your fear now safely rather than having to confront it in a crisis situation. Build a little positive day dreaming into your daily routin, while waiting in line or stuck in traffic. You'll get it.
__________________
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -- Sidney J. Harris
Also, positive self-talk. Think of the one or two things that you see as negatives and turn them into positive statements that you can tell yourself before, and perhaps even during, a match. Make the statement positive and current tense.
Example: You worry about people who are fast or hit hard.
"I can handle anything s/he throws at me. No problem"
"I can see everything s/he's going to do before s/he does it."
During matches, don't think too much. Just react to what's there. That is harder than it sounds, but gets better over time.
While I would agree with the first two responses, there is also another way to defeat this issue, and I use it with all of my students:
Progressive Sparring Drills!
Start by sparring using only your lead hand vs. his lead hand. After a week use your rear hand vs. his. Slowly change up which tool you're sparring with until you feel pretty confident in this method.
Then add a second tool, such as your lead hand and rear foot vs. his feet only, or hands only, or takedowns only, etc.
By sparring in this way, my guys never feel like they've been "thrown to the wolves", and within a couple months of joining they are often ready to step in the ring. This has proven to be a great way to not only hone each individual skill under duress, but it really does allow you to keep a bit more calm, as you and your partner have very limited options!
Trust me, this works, and I've been using this for years!
So: since some of you have trained with many students over the years I'm thinking there's a chance that you've had to work with someone like me? If so: what can I do to improve this situation?
I think we've all been there Shannon. Getting your mentality together for sparring just takes time and experience. Learning to react a particular way is conditioning for the mind & body same as teaching your body how to adapt to increasingly bigger weights.
Dazza & Chris C are right in learning to relax.
Develop and focus on one or two tools, as Adrian suggested. Having a couple key techniques in your repertoire that work against those guys will give you confidence - be it moving at angles and using distance. If they are taller then developing ways in which to move inside and use your stature to your advantage, etc...
btw, welcome to the boards Adrian. You run a MMA school?
__________________
Working "hard," or the perception of working hard, doesn't really mean anything. Sweating, vomiting, and breathing hard could be a good workout or a tropical disease kicking in.-Dan John
A turning point for me in contact sparring was realising fully that each sparring partner is there to make me a better fighter. This subtle change in mindset took the "threat" element out of the equation.
Ultimately, you are in a controlled situation and this is the environment in which to exorcise the demons that might hold you back in a real confrontation.
By looking your partner in the eye and saying to yourself "you are here to help me, I am here to help you" the situation is somewhat diffused and the fun can begin!
IrishDazza & Chris: I will work on your visualization techniques, though I'm concerned that they will only carry me until the first time I land on my back and then I will lose my nerve again. However, your point that I need to view things positively makes sense. Your replies are working with logic though, and that is the one thing that seems to flee my brain! I will work on it though.
Adrian: I like your drill idea. Unfortunately I can't change our class drill structure but I could possibly do some practice like that with someone during out-of-class time. I think that if we went that way it would indeed help with the "thrown to the wolves" mentality!
Kuri: Not sure we've all been there, actually. I think some people take to sparring much more easilly than others. In fact, the person in class who scares me the most is actually another white belt who began sparring at the same time as me. (though one of the black belts scares the heck out of me as well!)
Ran: Thanks for the reply, yes I suspect you are right. Viewing this all as a learning experience seems the best bet.
IrishDazza & Chris: I will work on your visualization techniques, though I'm concerned that they will only carry me until the first time I land on my back and then I will lose my nerve again. However, your point that I need to view things positively makes sense. Your replies are working with logic though, and that is the one thing that seems to flee my brain! I will work on it though.
Adrian: I like your drill idea. Unfortunately I can't change our class drill structure but I could possibly do some practice like that with someone during out-of-class time. I think that if we went that way it would indeed help with the "thrown to the wolves" mentality!
Kuri: Not sure we've all been there, actually. I think some people take to sparring much more easilly than others. In fact, the person in class who scares me the most is actually another white belt who began sparring at the same time as me. (though one of the black belts scares the heck out of me as well!)
Ran: Thanks for the reply, yes I suspect you are right. Viewing this all as a learning experience seems the best bet.
Well I've been there at every place I've trained. There was always someone bigger, stronger, and more experienced - but you've got to adopt the attitude that you are there to learn.
Better to get used to having a bit of fear in the dojo than the street, and learn how it feels to get hit.
I've certainly had those people I dreaded sparring at first... the aaw crap not this guy feeling. But in time we find ways to adapt.
Maybe you should ask that other white belt to ease up a tad. overly aggressive white belts can often do more harm than good. Higher belts should be able to control themselves to a greater degree and adjust to you.
__________________
Working "hard," or the perception of working hard, doesn't really mean anything. Sweating, vomiting, and breathing hard could be a good workout or a tropical disease kicking in.-Dan John
Doesn't sound like you are scared. People who are scared usually quit once they get popped.
Sounds like you are not that comfortable with your sparring ability. Couple that with an over agressive sparring partner, and you get panicked/flustered and then do a lot of backpedaling. Your not really going to develop any skills this way.
Spend some time working pads to develop you footwork and technique.
You need to spar with more experienced people who are willing to slow it down, bring their game down to your level. This will help you develop your skills and increase you confidence.
Sparring with newbies who want to bang won't help your game.
Thanks Kuri for explaining your point, I do see what you're saying now. I suspect you are right. I still also think that some people are more able to hack the aggressive aspect of it a bit more naturally than others. (I'm a lover not a fighter! Haha). But yeah, I do see what you're saying. Good point.
ko67, oh trust me, I'm scared! Buuuuut everything else you say also rings a true sounding bell, I definately am Not comfortable with my sparring ability. I'm sloooooooow. Time working pads, check! I may do this for another month or two before I hit the sparring again. My instructor will probably not be too enthused, but I'm sure I can work it out. Sparring with a higher belt willing to bring their level down, also a good idea. When we spar in class I spar quite easilly with the higher belts who know they've got nothing to prove on me and work quite slowly for me. Unfortunately I cannot choose who I spar in class, we rotate through everyone. I can practice on my off time though with my sister (red belt) probably.
What ko67 says about, "Sparring with newbies who want to bang won't help your game." is oh so true.
So I do full contact medieval recreation sword fighting with rattan swords. There are guys we let new guys fight and guys we strongly recommend they do not.
Some guys who have been fighting awhile, but aren't that good, seem to see new people as fresh meat! Someone they can beat easily, someone to stroke their ego.
These types of people are not overly good for anything and typically don't work that hard to improve. In my sport they don't show up often and are often not much better than someone new.
I think these all ring very true to Shannon's situtation.
__________________ 2009: No races, No times. Slow year. So, now you're 96 cals short. You're now in starvation mode. Doomed. - LostDog
Blog entry: November 1, 2009, Pancakes LiveSTRONG daily plate log
Thanks Kuri for explaining your point, I do see what you're saying now. I suspect you are right. I still also think that some people are more able to hack the aggressive aspect of it a bit more naturally than others. (I'm a lover not a fighter! Haha). But yeah, I do see what you're saying. Good point.
ko67, oh trust me, I'm scared! Buuuuut everything else you say also rings a true sounding bell, I definately am Not comfortable with my sparring ability. I'm sloooooooow. Time working pads, check! I may do this for another month or two before I hit the sparring again. My instructor will probably not be too enthused, but I'm sure I can work it out. Sparring with a higher belt willing to bring their level down, also a good idea. When we spar in class I spar quite easilly with the higher belts who know they've got nothing to prove on me and work quite slowly for me. Unfortunately I cannot choose who I spar in class, we rotate through everyone. I can practice on my off time though with my sister (red belt) probably.
Thanks again!
Don't stop sparring, that is probably the worst thing you can do. Pads are a great training tool, but you still need to get in there with a live person.
When you spar, do people rush you?
My guess is that they see you are unsure, and then it's like "blood in the water" and they rush you.
Two techniques you should work on are the front and side kick off the front foot.
Best way to train these is have somone rush you with a kicking shield.
You need to be fast, but once you get the timing, they will keep people off you. The front kick is especially effective if you put it right on the bony part of their hip. Hurts like hell, and will stop them in their tracks. The pain will make them think twice about rushing in. The side kick is a little harder, but if you get good at it, you can really blast someone.
Do you also tend go straight back when they rush you? Learn to move to the side, step off center and circle to their weak side. Or take a chance and step into them, jam them up and unload a straight punch. They are used to you backing away, shock them by not only standing your ground, but taking it to them.
Definitely work with other people before, after or outside of class.
Ah, interesting, interesting. This kick technique could be good. If I get enough guts up to be doing it! Haha. I guess that's what the drill would help with.
I'm not sure that I get rushed, necessarilly. I really do think it's an issue of me being a bit chicken more than anyone else being out of line. But I could use a couple moves for using on the white belt.
Yes front kicks are a very effective weapon for creating space. Nail them with that a couple times and they'll be more cautious and not bum rush you.
I agree do not move straight back, as that only allows a straight fontal attack. Work with someone on learning how to sidestep and use angles. Practice having someone come fast from the front, take a quick step to either side and that should create a good opportunity to land a strike.
One technique used in Goju karate is a side step to knee kick. Simple but effective.
Ganbatte!
__________________
Working "hard," or the perception of working hard, doesn't really mean anything. Sweating, vomiting, and breathing hard could be a good workout or a tropical disease kicking in.-Dan John
At the hazard of information overload....concentrate on getting off the line of attack.
Need a bit of brinkmanship to make it work...you need to wait to the very last second of an incoming attack before reacting.Pivot on your front foot, swinging your rear leg a good 30 degrees and either kick or punch from there.
You need to find what works for you, but having a counter technique that you're comfortable with is the most important thing. Think of it as a "lucky" move that you can use to build your confidence before you go on to develop your full reportoire.
__________________
Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. -- Sidney J. Harris
Haha, you guys are awesome. It's like having a whole panel of big brothers giving advice.
I have no progress to report this week, as I skipped both classes due to illness. But next time I am back at it, I will let you know what happens!
Oh, my sister emailed me this morning to let me know that she put the white belt I have so much trouble with on his back last night, and so did another red belt. Whoops.
Psyched out sparring question
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