Need to get some basics clear - JP Fitness Forums

Ruma · 04-13-2006, 11:40 AM

My 4 year old son is a target of bullies either at daycare or at school. He also has Mommy clinginess. I am afraid that getting bullied can do a long term damage to his confidence and self esteem. I was suggested by many to get him enrolled in Martial Arts which will enhance his confidence, mental balance and discipline. Me and my husband are seriously considering it now.

But I have no clue what to look for in an instructor. Are there different types of Martial Art? If so which one should I look at taking his age and his problem into consideration. If someone could guide me (link or website) through the basics, I would really appreciate it.

Iceztiq · 04-13-2006, 12:34 PM

Chris is the martial art instructor, so u can ask him for good advices, i think.

BFG · 04-13-2006, 12:42 PM

cant offer advice on type but my best friend is a world Taido karate champion, (BTW Chris if you read this empty your in box wanted to pm you about this and some thoughts), but he has kids come along all the while like this and they all benefit from it big big time.

They have discipline honour, courage, friends for life and last but by no means least self esteem

ShannonB · 04-13-2006, 01:15 PM

Whichever one you decide to go for (after we all hear Chris' advice), sit in on a class before you decide to enroll your son. That's really the only way to get a feel for the instruction and also for what his peers in the class are going to be like.

Good luck with this, and I think your idea is great. Martial arts could totally help boost his confidence.

Chris Correia · 04-13-2006, 01:28 PM

BFG: It should be empty. Try again.

Ruma:

The exact martial arts isn't as important as the instruction and orientation of the school. I think that taekwondo is the most practiced world wide these days, perhaps largely because it has included children for a number of years now. Taekwondo, like karate, is oriented to kicking and punching, rather than grappling/wrestling (such as judo). But lots of schools and styles mix stuff up a bit. So, the style becomes your preference. The hard work, discipline and confidence are the important outcomes in any case.

That said:

1.) Visit a few schools; observe both the children's and adult classes. You have to like what you see. Mostly look at instructors and how good you would feel having that person become a significant mentor in your son's life. That can be a little tricky because sometimes an instructor can be a solild martial artist and good teacher, but just not charimatic. I Just happen to be all three. LOL

2) An instructor that is certified with more than a certificate out of a laser printer, and who him/herself still is a student under a higher instructor. That should be the case until one gets to very high ranking instructors, but even many of the best of those are still attentive to someone higher somewhere. This relates to:

3) I prefer schools/systems that are part of something larger than just the individual school. I'm biased toward schools that are part of larger recognized families/organization, perhaps regional, national, and international. In this way, you are more assured of some accountability in some chain of command.

Four is definitely on the younger end of when a child should start. I start them at 5, and sometimes that is really too young for some kids. But, we still teach real martial arts. If there isn't much martial arts going on, if it looks more like physical education day care, then dont' spend your money for that. Find a school that runs what looks like martial arts. Good instruction should help even a younger child understand the notion of using their techniques for self defense only, not to be mean or show off.

That's all I have for now. Feel free to ask more or PM me if you'd like. Good luck!

Ruma · 04-14-2006, 05:47 AM

Chris, thank you so much for your reply. From what you said, 4 seems to be early so I will wait for some more time before getting him enrolled. But in the mean time I will look around for classes and schools that fits my son's requirement.

Also Chris, is there a minimum number of classes per week required? I was thinking about a weekend only class. But will once a week be too less?

Chris Correia · 04-14-2006, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruma

Chris, thank you so much for your reply. From what you said, 4 seems to be early so I will wait for some more time before getting him enrolled. But in the mean time I will look around for classes and schools that fits my son's requirement.

Also Chris, is there a minimum number of classes per week required? I was thinking about a weekend only class. But will once a week be too less?

For a younger child, such as yours, starting at once a week, and staying there a little while can be fine. Moving into twice a week, however, will really help progress in many ways. I have two sessions per week as my norm, but that is the most that younger kids need or can handle (or parents, for that matter, since they have to take the kids to class!).

Chris D · 04-14-2006, 01:10 PM

I took martial arts at a young age (between 7 and 8 I believe) and I think in the long run it did me a lot of good with my self confidence later in life. I was still a shy kid however as I went through school. But the few times that I was confronted I knew what to do and they didn't go very far, which was probably a good thing (by the time I was confronted it was automatic).

Don't take this in the wrong way, but why not just tell him to go ahead and punch/fight back. At this young of an age not much is going to come of it (I think). Worst is that you guys get a phone call from the principal because of the situation and you can bring up the situation there.

Just my 2 cents.

Ruma · 04-14-2006, 07:52 PM

C. Dorr, thanks for your input. I did try to tell him to fight back, but it is not in him. He gets very pumped up when I tell him, but next time it happens he just takes it and cries.

Chris, I was thinking of once a week because of the convenience of taking him to the class. But if twice a week is better, I will adjust it in my schedule.

Shannon, that sounds good, sitting in the class to get a feel for the instructor and how the students are turning out to be. Thanks

.

BFG · 04-15-2006, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruma

C. Dorr, thanks for your input. I did try to tell him to fight back, but it is not in him. He gets very pumped up when I tell him, but next time it happens he just takes it and cries.

Chris, I was thinking of once a week because of the convenience of taking him to the class. But if twice a week is better, I will adjust it in my schedule.

Shannon, that sounds good, sitting in the class to get a feel for the instructor and how the students are turning out to be. Thanks

.

hey Ruma he could be the next world champion in the making

Irishdazza · 04-17-2006, 03:55 AM

Right behind Chris on this one...it's all about the instructor not the art. Advanced instructors will have examined other arts to see what's worth pinching anyway!

But age 4 seems very young to me for a striking style...you can't really let them interact with each other too much safely.

Something fun that will improve his co-ordination, strength and confidence would seem to be the way to go. Some form of grappling or...don't laugh...maybe even gymnastics?

Time enough for learning how to kick ass when he's 7 or 8 maybe.

Ruma · 04-17-2006, 08:53 PM

BFG no one would be more happy than me to see him kick some a*ses

IrishDazza, I was interested in Martial Arts because I was told that it will build confidence, mental balance and discipline. With this he can build a better self image. That will not only shoo off the bullies but will help him in other ways as well. Well, I won't mind if he can kick some a*ses as well, but that is not the priority

. You bring up a good point.. gymnastics. If that can achieve the same goals then why not?

BFG · 04-18-2006, 01:23 AM

Yeh good point Dazza, it could be what makes him tick. You need to find something that will inspire him, if he really doesnt like the idea of karate, altho that could be through fear factor of thinking he may get beaten up all the while whilst doing it (easy to overcome once he has seen it) I would say yuo know what makes your son tick, if you think that maybe an issue as well as going to the classes then have a word with the instructors about their class structures and explain the situation to them majority of them will be understanding as you wont be the first paren to ask.

But even getting him involved in any team sport like that will improve his self worth and help him feel more confident

Iceztiq · 04-18-2006, 08:26 AM

My instructor was the one Chris said as a solid martial artist with no charisma. He was cruel & evil when teaching, & he always said that kids need to learn MA ever since they were so young. But he taught good, for sure.

ShannonB · 04-18-2006, 11:30 AM

Ruma, on the gymnastics thing: I think it could also be a great lead-in for martial arts. When I was a kid in Tae Kwon Do, we had a few students join our class who had already been doing gymnastics for a couple of years. They were superstars right off the bat, since the gymnastics had already given them the flexibility and balance that the rest of us were working towards. They picked up the tae kwon do moves really quickly.

For that matter, in the adult class I'm in now, one of the black belts is a former professional ballet dancer. His balance and flexibility are almost freakish.

Irishdazza · 04-18-2006, 02:59 PM

Also helps with eye hand co-ordination, break-falls, spacial awareness/zanshin and lots of other martial art qualities while to be honest being more fun and attainable for a youngster.

I hit martial arts at 17 and wished I'd started earlier, but only a couple of years. At 4, I think gymnastics would have been a better route.

Ruma · 04-20-2006, 09:27 PM

Thanks Shannon and IrishDazza again. I will add Gymnastics also to my research list. If there are any other sports and group activities you can think of please feel free to share. I am open for ideas. Please keep them coming.

Chris Correia · 04-21-2006, 07:22 AM

I think 5 or so can be an OK age to start in martial arts. The classes generally run with a stronger orientation toward discipline/order than the gymnastics classes I've seen. It depends on what you are looking for.