LIVIN' LARGE: Minimizing yourself and maximizing your life!When you have over 100 pounds to lose it can seem impossible to get started in the right direction.
Everyone's different, but when I was a big guy, I didn't binge. I was always an emotional eater, but if you're always eating too much, there's little reason to binge. You just keep eating...
Now, I get upset, sad, pissed, worried, anxious, etc. I feel like OVEReating. I need to channel that somewhere or find a way to ditch that feeling. When I'm alone, I can hit the gym or go to a movie or just go to sleep. When I have my kids, this becomes harder.
Everyone needs a social network for support. This weight loss thing is freakin' hard. Things go well and we like to get the high-fives and congrats from our family and friends. Things go poorly and we pull in like a frightened turtle.
It's hard to successfully ride out a binge if you don't have support. Posting a problem in your training log might help. Don't count on it. I did that last night. Put my problem out there. Forty long minutes passed before (Thank God) my friend saw it and popped in to help. It sure did help, but even as I was being rescued from my mood, I realized that I'd chosen to rely on others to fix my own problem. If she hadn't seen the post and decided to help, would I have continued to let myself feel down? Yes. Luckily, my posted cry for help allowed me to ride out that forty minutes. But, if it hadn't, how many cupcakes could I have eaten in that period of time? A lot.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't post these things in a log or forum. That perfectly fine. But, realize that if that's all you do, you are taking a passive role in stopping the binge. You need to take an active roll.
Develop a support network. It can be as simple as making a deal with a friend who you can confide in. They don't need to know anything about food, nutrition, diet, exercise, or psychology. They need to be able to listen and be supportive. Our binges aren't about the food. The binges are about emotions.
Have multiple people in the network. Your goal should to be able to reach someone in a reasonable amount of time. Live contact, too. Personal contact is best (drive, ride, walk, or jog on over), but a phone can easily do the trick. IMs, PMs, emails are fine, but you need to quickly get into a "conversation." Sending an email that gets responded to tomorrow doesn't help. Have a couple of people that you can get in touch with.
Also, make sure that these people know that they are in your network and agree to try to be available. If they are in the same boat, it can help ease the guilt of disturbing them, but if they are truly a good friend, it's usually not a problem.
There's no shame in needing help or a shoulder to cry on (Yes. I've cried. Once. One. Single. Tear.). We're used to talking about our problems, and, in general, feel no shame. But, when it comes to our feelings driving our eating behavior, suddenly we're ashamed? Why? Because we feel out of control. But, it's our responsibility to get our feeling under control again. Get our eating under control again.
So, any tips or suggestions to add? We talked about physical methods to get off the binge bandwagon, but those things only work if you want them to. How do you get to that point? You've got to talk, sometimes.
Hopefully, this makes some sense. I don't have an Editor, but I do have two kids wanting my attention. Rather than be my own Editor, I now will hit "submit" and hope for the best.
now I feel bad - I saw that last night and didn't respond - too shy or didn't feel "in the network" I guess. Next time, I'll know.
More to your subject, I guess my housemate is the best thing I've got to be a support "network" - if I would use it. Funny, close proximity doesn't really make it any easier to "reach out" - at least for me. I'd almost rather reach out on a [more anonymous] forum post/IM/PM/email then walk into the other room and say "I'm sad/depressed/whatever and I want to go for donuts" - even so, I don't think I've ever done either one - reached out in person or in virtual-ity - too shy to admit the impending doom of failure I guess, even to people i've never met in person. ooof. It's not easy any way you slice it.
now I feel bad - I saw that last night and didn't respond - too shy or didn't feel "in the network" I guess. Next time, I'll know.
Don't feel bad. I wasn't expecting anything, really. It wasn't until later that I realized that I need to take a more active role.
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Originally Posted by LisaS
More to your subject, I guess my housemate is the best thing I've got to be a support "network" - if I would use it. Funny, close proximity doesn't really make it any easier to "reach out" - at least for me. I'd almost rather reach out on a [more anonymous] forum post/IM/PM/email then walk into the other room and say "I'm sad/depressed/whatever and I want to go for donuts" - even so, I don't think I've ever done either one - reached out in person or in virtual-ity - too shy to admit the impending doom of failure I guess, even to people i've never met in person. ooof. It's not easy any way you slice it.
I think my family or roommate would be the last person I'd turn to. No think, in fact. I don't go to them.
Truthfully, it's been a while. When I was at CalorieKing, there were a couple of people that I could call. But, I never needed them. I got in the network, just in case. I got a couple of calls, but never had to call anyone, myself.
My CK experience was before IMs were a decent solution. The miracle of the internet (IMs, Skype, etc) allows us to form networks with people around the world with no long distance charges.
It's not what you talk about that's important. In fact, it's the "talking," itself, that helps. Other than the brief debate over the superiority of cupcakes to cookies (cookies are so "obvious" and overdone...), I didn't talk about food at all, last night. I just talked. And, while I talked, I didn't eat or even think about food.
My CK experience was before IMs were a decent solution. The miracle of the internet (IMs, Skype, etc) allows us to form networks with people around the world with no long distance charges.
This is exactly how my support network is feasible. My best friend just moved to Las Vegas. We used to meet at a bar and go to town on our problems. Sure, we could (and would) call each other as needed, and we still do, but that face-to-face connection is no longer feasible. It doesn't matter the topic of discussion--if there's a need for someone, we fill that need (as needed).
The key to our friendship and mutual support is something like this: just be ready with a shoulder and a beer. We bitch and moan to each other, offer opinions, but never dictate. We've both done stuff the other was adamantly against (and we said so), but we never said "you should..."
My network (about a half-dozen people) is a collection of people with varied backgrounds and lifestyles, ranging from single early-20s (female) to married-with-children late-20s (female) to single early-30s (male) and so on, but only two live nearby; the rest are scattered literally across the country. All get a Cliff's Notes version of everything, but I go to certain ones depending on my particular situation at the time. I know that all of them will give me a blunt, honest opinion rather than sugar-coat anything (the reason I wouldn't to go family even if I got along with them).
__________________ No Magic Pill (the log)
My Movember page (yes, I'm slacking on pictures)
If you would like my AIM address or my cell phone number, just send me a PM. We can all use a little support every now and then. One of these days I think I am going to end up waking up LD at some bizarre time of the morning.......
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"Branch chainz, bro. Leucine in the sky with diamonds." - Alan Aragon
I don't really have a support network. As I have said before, my wife is angry about my health problems so it is hard to go to her. She gets jealous of me when I hang on the computer too long. I don't really have anyone close by who I can call and I don't get out much. I generally come on here and watch how others handle things. By the way, cookies are much more satisfying than cupcakes.
Do You Have A Support Network?
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