LIVIN' LARGE: Minimizing yourself and maximizing your life!When you have over 100 pounds to lose it can seem impossible to get started in the right direction.
I am in a reflective mood today. I am trying to figure out why we hang onto our fat like grim death. What does it mean to us? What is it hiding? What is it insulating?
Some people are healthy and fat, but most of us aren't. If you are healthy and fat, great! You can choose whether you want to be fat based on aesthetics or on what you want your body to do for you.
Fat hurts most of us. In my case, it made me susceptible to Type II diabetes and eventually made me open to a staph infection. The staph infection was of a type that entered through the development of a cyst on my neck and eventually cost me my lower right leg.
The question is, why did I hang onto this fat? Why did I still hang onto this fat after I developed type II diabetes with all its lovely complications? Sure, diabetes and the medications make it harder to lose weight. But they don't make it impossible and plenty of people lose the weight and then lose the symptoms of type II if they maintain the weight loss, good diet and an exercise program. But I was one that chose to maintain my fat. Why?
It has certainly put a strain on my marriage. It has undoubtedly affected my professional life. It has ruined my concept of me. It took my leg. Why is it something I hang on to.
I am looking for the answers. Obviously it has been more important than my health, my marriage, my professional life and my personal life. It must be something pretty important. I think that I need to figure out what is so important to me about being fat before I am ever going to permanently defeat it.
That doesn't mean that I'm not going to try to lose weight. I have already fought my blood pressure and blood sugar down, but I need to lose weight and get rid of all the medication.
It's a little harder now without my leg, but I need to do it. If only to save my remaining leg.
Why do we "hang onto it" perse? My best explanation is that change produces extreme feelings of angst for our own responsibility. We know we are unhealthy or overweight and should change but the possibility of change reminds us that we are in charge of our own life (something which probably scares most of us, myself included).
Perhaps the most annoying thing I hear from people who haven't seen me in some time is that they ask me "do you feel as though you've gotten your life back"? Why is it that if I'm overweight I must not be in control of my own condition? Its not as if someone tied me down and forced me to eat nothing but cake and cupcakes for a year. Quite the opposite in fact. In the same way in which I took control and lost the weight did I take control and gain the weight in the first place. The difference is negligible and rests only on how I choose to spin the story.
When I first started losing weight the biggest change wasn't that I lost 5-10 pounds. It was that I was doing something for myself. I was extending some of my passion towards my own situation. By taking the easy route and constantly saying oh well I'll just always be fat is to shy away and never believe that I am both the possibility for change and not changing. Either way action is always required and I am always the one responsible.
Sorry this got a little philosophical but I firmly believe that the greatest truth one can find comes from their own resoluteness. Whatever form that may be.
I understand all that. I understand that we ultimately control whether we are fat. But why then do we choose to be fat? There must be some reason that a person would knowingly stuff cupcakes down their mouth knowing what they are doing to him beyond that they taste good. If there is something we are protecting ourselves from by being fat, what happens if we lose the weight? There has to be a purpose for doing something so harmful to ourselves.
Greg - some good questions. Don't know that I have good answers.
The longer I live the more I think that we perceive ourselves as having far greater control over our lives than we really do.
Another odd thing, the less we think we can control our children, our family, friends, and acquaintances probably the more effective we are at exercising some control.
And the more we can accept ourselves as we are, the more comfortable we are with ourselves, probably the more we can direct what we do in our lives.
Most of the time we prefer to live in the fictitious reality we assemble about our life. My joke from the pulpit about this was that God in His infinite mercy allowed us not to perceive all our sins. I love my denials, and as I get older I have greater tolerances for other people's denials about their reality.
It was simple for me and so is answering your question (at least in my case) it is easy to be fat and somewhat enjoyable. No it is not fun walking around with an extra 100# of blubber on you but who amongst us does not enjoy the habits that got us fat? Now that we are on the right track do you like pizza, beer, sweets, fancy dinners or whatever your particular fancy is less? The answer is most likely no. Is running HIIT sessions until you want to drop suddenly become physically enjoyable to you? Once again probably not. The simple truth for me is I did not want to be the nice fat guy anymore and I knew what I had to do about and I knew it was going to take me out of my comfort zone. Fortunately for me lifting weights came easy and was quite enjoyable so I stayed with that for the 1st 3 years. To push myself further out of my comfort zone I started running (Which I always hated) and although I am slow I am doing something to improve myself and to never let myself fall back into that comfort zone. As to each of our particular reasons why we decide to do something about our conditions or choose not I would not even be able to fathom a guess. What I do know is that to some point we make the decisions that affect our weight and we make the excuses that will keep us fat or we do the work to make us healthy. I just got sick of shaving with that fat gut looking back at me in the mirror.
__________________ -50# by 4/1/10 2 down 48 to go.
It was simple for me and so is answering your question (at least in my case) it is easy to be fat and somewhat enjoyable. No it is not fun walking around with an extra 100# of blubber on you but who amongst us does not enjoy the habits that got us fat? Now that we are on the right track do you like pizza, beer, sweets, fancy dinners or whatever your particular fancy is less? The answer is most likely no. Is running HIIT sessions until you want to drop suddenly become physically enjoyable to you? Once again probably not. The simple truth for me is I did not want to be the nice fat guy anymore and I knew what I had to do about and I knew it was going to take me out of my comfort zone. Fortunately for me lifting weights came easy and was quite enjoyable so I stayed with that for the 1st 3 years. To push myself further out of my comfort zone I started running (Which I always hated) and although I am slow I am doing something to improve myself and to never let myself fall back into that comfort zone. As to each of our particular reasons why we decide to do something about our conditions or choose not I would not even be able to fathom a guess. What I do know is that to some point we make the decisions that affect our weight and we make the excuses that will keep us fat or we do the work to make us healthy. I just got sick of shaving with that fat gut looking back at me in the mirror.
I'd tend to agree with a lot of this (great minds think alike ya know...)
It's related to diet and activity level, yes? I see food very much related to one's mood and vice versa. Junk food is cheap and easy, two things Amercans have grown to love. They provide instant gratification which is a must in today's society. Eating healthy is much more difficult and requires a bit of fore-thought. Effort, more than anything. How friggin lazy are people nowadays? You've got to be kidding me.
I was at an airport waiting on a flight. A slightly overweight gentleman sits down and checks his blood sugar...interesting. Something I don't see very often. After that, he pulls out a personal pizza and a soda the size of his head! Not a lot of rhyme or reason to that.
Comfort food...it's called that for a reason. With all that's going on in the world today, a lot of people are looking for just that...comfort.
Interesting topic.
Ted
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Two Bears Dadda? Two Bears Benno, just two. ______________________________ ___________
There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit. ~Al Gallagher, 1971
Greg - some good questions. Don't know that I have good answers.
The longer I live the more I think that we perceive ourselves as having far greater control over our lives than we really do.
Another odd thing, the less we think we can control our children, our family, friends, and acquaintances probably the more effective we are at exercising some control.
And the more we can accept ourselves as we are, the more comfortable we are with ourselves, probably the more we can direct what we do in our lives.
Most of the time we prefer to live in the fictitious reality we assemble about our life. My joke from the pulpit about this was that God in His infinite mercy allowed us not to perceive all our sins. I love my denials, and as I get older I have greater tolerances for other people's denials about their reality.
I believe that God is like a captain on a ship. He sets the course. we are on the deck and are free to do what we want on the deck.
I admit that there are components on genetics and socialization that remove some control. I just think that we use fat as a shield and a way to avoid things. I believe that even with our genetics and the way we are raised we can eat right and do moderate exercise, if we choose. When our fat is making us sick or even just making it hard to breathe and go up steps, why do we choose to replicate the behavior that got us here.
It was simple for me and so is answering your question (at least in my case) it is easy to be fat and somewhat enjoyable. No it is not fun walking around with an extra 100# of blubber on you but who amongst us does not enjoy the habits that got us fat? Now that we are on the right track do you like pizza, beer, sweets, fancy dinners or whatever your particular fancy is less? The answer is most likely no. Is running HIIT sessions until you want to drop suddenly become physically enjoyable to you? Once again probably not. The simple truth for me is I did not want to be the nice fat guy anymore and I knew what I had to do about and I knew it was going to take me out of my comfort zone. Fortunately for me lifting weights came easy and was quite enjoyable so I stayed with that for the 1st 3 years. To push myself further out of my comfort zone I started running (Which I always hated) and although I am slow I am doing something to improve myself and to never let myself fall back into that comfort zone. As to each of our particular reasons why we decide to do something about our conditions or choose not I would not even be able to fathom a guess. What I do know is that to some point we make the decisions that affect our weight and we make the excuses that will keep us fat or we do the work to make us healthy. I just got sick of shaving with that fat gut looking back at me in the mirror.
I loved to run until my knees started talking to me! I love to lift weights as well. Apparently I love to be fat too.
I think each person is different in respect to why we allow ourselves to remain sedentary, obese, making poor eating decisions - leading an unhealthy lifestyle. That being said, I do think that the underlying motivation is fairly simple. Everything we do is done to change the way we feel. Human motivation is such that we will do just about anything to avoid pain. We will also do whatever it takes to gain pleasure. If we are ever faced with two or more options that are painful, we will ALWAYS rationalize one to be less painful than the other and we WILL DO THAT ONE.
Consider this example: you have the choice of dying by bullet or by knife. Which do you choose? Many people would choose the bullet thinking it is quicker (ie less painful). However, were I to shoot you in the stomach it would take considerable amount of time for you to bleed out and a significant amount of pain. Likewise were I to stab you in the heart or cut your throat you could die quickly. See the point. The illustration is graphic but important in understanding how we make decisions. Bottom line, we will choose the one that we perceive to be less painful.
What does this all mean? Our associations with pleasure and pain are important to our diet and exercise because if we constantly link a massive amount of pain to performing exercise and eating right --- you guessed it. We will NOT succeed. However, if we can ask ourselves what we do enjoy about those things, if we can see and experience the benefits now - not later, if we can link MORE PAIN to NOT CHANGING these habits and more pleasure with CHANGING our Lifestyle, then we WILL SEE RESULTS.
The key lies within you. Deciding what matters most to you. Sure all options may seem difficult, painful, and a lot like drudgery at the beginning, but ask yourself this: If you continue on the course that you are on, what will you look like in 10 years? Will you even be alive? How do you feel? How do you walk? Do you waddle Greg? (an example Greg, I am acknowledging the loss of your leg here but I want others to read this as well) Or can you even walk anymore? What do your clothes look like? How do they fit? How are you breathing? Is it difficult? Are you smiling?? Are you happy? Is your life really what you thought it would be when you were cutting corners in previous years to save time, money, etc?
My hallucination is that is not. The picture is not pretty. But that was only at 10 years. Consider 15, 20, and so on assuming you live that long? It is easy to go through this process but the other half of the cycle is to do the same sort of visualization seeing yourself achieving your goals. What does the Greg who has reached his goals look and feel like in 10 years? How do you move? How do you sound? Is there a bit of vibrancy and passion in your life? Are you happy???
Greg, you get to paint the picture. Remember, everything you do is done to change the way YOU feel. Start associating good, positive things with the process of achieving your goals NOW and it will happen. You just have to MAKE IT.
The ONLY way you can really ever fail, Greg, is if you QUIT. Results may slow or be unexpected, but as long as you don't quit: two steps forward and one step back is still progress.
Newman
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"Branch chainz, bro. Leucine in the sky with diamonds." - Alan Aragon
I don't necessarily agree. If pain gets so bad that we have to change it will move us to change. Frequently, I think it is between what is known and what is unknown. We stay where we are many times because even if it is painful it is what we know. We don't know what happens if we get thin. What if all those things that we told ourselves would happen if we just got in shape don't happen? How do we deal with that? Where do we go then?
I don't necessarily agree. If pain gets so bad that we have to change it will move us to change. Frequently, I think it is between what is known and what is unknown. We stay where we are many times because even if it is painful it is what we know. We don't know what happens if we get thin. What if all those things that we told ourselves would happen if we just got in shape don't happen? How do we deal with that? Where do we go then?
I don't think that ever occured to me but I think it may always have been in the back of my mind. I guess for me what I was doing was not working health wise so no matter what was going to happen by getting thinner it would have to help. I didn't really expect that by getting thinner any problems I had in life were going to go away. I just figured that it would make life easier and fortunately for me in many ways it has. Plus it has now given me some added confidence knowing that I was able to make a significant change in my life with just hard work. After that who knows what I can accomplish?
__________________ -50# by 4/1/10 2 down 48 to go.
I don't necessarily agree. If pain gets so bad that we have to change it will move us to change. Frequently, I think it is between what is known and what is unknown. We stay where we are many times because even if it is painful it is what we know. We don't know what happens if we get thin. What if all those things that we told ourselves would happen if we just got in shape don't happen? How do we deal with that? Where do we go then?
My point here would be that your perception and association of the pain in this instance (so bad that it motivates change) is still part of the underlying basic motivation of changing the way you feel. It is part of the avoidance of pain principle. We will do anything to avoid pain and gain pleasure or minimize pain. In this instance the only thing that has changed is your association and perception of the pain.
Again, with regard to "We stay where we are many times because even if it is painful it is what we know. We don't know what happens if we get thin. What if all those things that we told ourselves would happen if we just got in shape don't happen? How do we deal with that? Where do we go then?" That uncertainty of what will happen next if you get in shape or get thin is a feeling of uncomfortability. You are more comfortable staying where you are because the uncertainty creates the perception of a "change of state". - insecurity, vulnerability, uncertainty, etc. These are all different gradients of the pain I spoke about earlier and in my previous post. The person in that situation is creating a sort of paralysis. Your string of questions underscores my point on the matter. "What if"...the association is instantly linked with feelings of failure, rejection, any numerous degrees of negativity. These are painful thoughts. And in that case, the notion of changing requires too much effort, and it is perceived too painful to do anything.
Bottom line: Change your associations, your perceptions, your state of reference and you will change your life!
Newman
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"Branch chainz, bro. Leucine in the sky with diamonds." - Alan Aragon
I've been chubby to fat for most of my life. I always thought that I'd have it easy with women if I only lost the weight. So, that was always the primary motivation for losing weight. But, down deep, I knew that wasn't going to make things with women all that easy. So, subconsciously, I'd set myself up to fail.
I knew that I was shy and still wouldn't be able to easily approach women, so I'd give up and go back to my old ways.
It wasn't until I decided to be fit for me (health, long life, example for the kids, etc.) that I just did it.
After that, it was no problem, at least on the mental side of things. Hunger sucks, but having a goal that was true to what I really needed, got me through the pangs.
Back on CalorieKing, people would ask me my secret to never binging, never blowing things, and keeping things on track. I had no answer back then, but this thread just showed it to me.
I think you've nailed it LD, that's the postion I find myself in. I'm not not fat but nowhere as lean as i'd like. I too had the same motivations as you but it didn't work. It's just now that I've realised i'm doing this for me and my inner feelings rather than the ability to actract women, look good in the mirror etc (although these are by products)
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Why are we fat?
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