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How to deal with this frustrating/overwhelming craving???
As some of you might know from my thread in FLTS, I'm a recovering anorexic who's trying to get myself back on track with my nutrition and workouts.
A bit of history ... in late December I hit my lowest weight of about 79-80lbs. Fast forward to now, last time I checked (about a week ago) I was 118-119 .. I haven't weight since as it tends to be really triggering to me. Long story short, after 6 inpatient hospitalization for this, I said to hell with treatment (since it didn't seem to be helping) and figured if I lost all that weight on my own .. I can do the same thing and replace it on my own.
I was the queen of restricting, most days eating only 300-400 calories a day and working out 7 days a week for somewhere between 2-4 hours a day.
My weight is stable (getting some labs done tomorrow to check on electrolytes, thyroid function, etc) and am trying to now "clean up" my eating and my body (want to alter my composition, lose some fat, gain some muscle etc).
The ONE thing that keeps tripping me up though .. CRAVINGS! And I am about to really *flip* out! My "trigger" food is peanut butter .. for all the times I've sat here having a pity party about gaining 40 lbs, and swearing that I was going to pull myself together, eat clean and workout moderately so I can lose a smidge of weight (probably 5-10lbs) and really lean out .. yet time and time and time again .. I give into the craving for it. PB was always my absolute NO-NO food .. Never allowed myself to have it. When I was starting the weight gain process back in December .. I had PB daily, and never in a normal portion .. always 1/3 ot a 1/2 jar in one sitting. After 2-3 months of that, I got burnt out on it and never touched it again. Now within the last 3-4 weeks .. the peanut butter craving is front and center again. And it's beyond strong! Despite my best intentions .. I cave every single freaking time and I'm starting to get frustrated and panicked. Granted, I'm not overweight now .. but if I keep this crap up, that's exactly where I'm heading! I've read loads of nutrition/ed recovery books .. and they all suggest never to have any food be "off limits" .. as it tends to set you up to obsess about it/binge on it .. other books I've read say that you have to keep your "trigger foods" out of the house, otherwise you'll always binge on them. I don't think I"m necessarily "binging" on peanut butter .. but I don't think it's healthy to eat a half jar in one sitting, and I know for a fact .. that it's the peanut butter that is setting me on the exact path for being overweight. What do I do?!?! How do I stop giving into the craving?!?! It's like, if it's not in the house, I feel panicked because I don't have any in the kitchen .. and when it's in the house, I can't feel "satisfied" with a normal tablespoon or two .. it's the only thing that i consistently overeat time and again. My biggest goal it to overcome this, get my eating on track and through workouts, get my body to where I'd most like it to be (about 5-10lbs down, and to totally lean out/tighten up & get toned .. but if I can't get over this peanut butter obsession .. I'll never achieve those goals. I obsess about freaking PB ALL the time and it's starting to really frustrate me and make me feel discouraged. Is it time to just say screw it, and ban it from the house period? How do I deal with such intense psychological cravings for this crap? I feel absolutey horrible when I give into it .. I'm feeling completely defeated right now over a stupid food and the fact that is has this much power over me. What the hell happened? I used to be the queen of not caving and eating only what was "allowed" when I was anorexic. Don't get me wrong .. I don't want to go back to being that hardcore from a nutritional stanpoint, but how did I manage for 10 years to be so strict in my eating .. and now it's taking me over, and I feel like I have absolutely NO control/ability to fight it! I'm stumped and frustrated Every time I eat it .. I know it's keeping me further from achieving my goals .. but it's almost like I can't help it! *screams* .. How do I deal with this & overcome it .. so I can start eating properly, get the cravings to go away and start making the progress I so desperately want to make?
***grrr ..*** I'm SO frustrated. Please let me know if you have any ideas/thoughts.
OH .. and on a side note .. I have tried substituting it with PB2, and it just doesn't satisfy the craving for the real thing
I can totally relate to the food craving thing although I have the opposite weight problem than you. What has worked for me in the last year or so of trying to get to a healthy weight is not denying myself when I'm really having a strong craving. There are times when I just cannot keep whatever I'm craving in the house either, so I'll buy the smallest container I can and measure out the small amount that I have fit into my food budget (so it's guilt-free) and throw the rest away to remove the temptation. Most of the time I can distract myself from the craving with something else or I'm able to have a sensible portion, but if the craving gets bad then that's what I do. And of course, sometimes I slip up and totally over-indulge, but that's okay, I'm in it for the long haul, just gotta keep on going.
I don't know if that applies for you since your situation is different than mine, but I hope it was helpful.
I'm not a psychologist, but I'm not sure fighting the cravings like you are is the best answer.
What should you weigh?
Is bingeing on some PB once in awhile going to cause you to suddenly become fat? Probably not.
Maybe step back from this individual craving and look at your diet as a whole and determine if eating some PB is really going to have the adverse effect you seem to be so scared of. I don't know if you're seeing someone now, but you need to figure out some strategies of getting past this, IMHO irrational, fear of becoming overweight. It just sounds like you have this craving/fear cycle going on that is feeding itself and it's going to be hard to solve one without the other.
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"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." -- T.S. Eliot
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit."-- Aristotle
Is bingeing on some PB once in awhile going to cause you to suddenly become fat? Probably not.
Weight wise .. I'm right about where I should be .. so my focus now that I've re-gained some needed weight, is to take what I've got and "clean it up" so to speak (lean out, add tone/muscle, decrease body fat .. right now I'm very "squishy".)
My concern isn't the occasional over-indulgence .. the concern lies in the fact that I'm "over-indulging" on PB most days of the week .. 1/2 jar PB = about 1400 calories! It used to be my "weekly" cheat .. now it's turning into an every day occurance, and I feel like I just canNOT shut off the craving. I try to ignore it .. then feel depressed because I can't have it .. cave, give in, and go bolistic with it! I've tried just having a tablespoon or two, and that just doesn't satisfy, and the second it crosses my lips, I want more and more and more. Is it time to just ignore the concept of "never having forbidden foods" and just ban it from my kitchen?
What about trying this - eat a tablespoon with EVERY meal.
If you overdo it at one meal, don't change anything. Continue & have a tablespoon with each of your meals as planned. Sooner or later (likely sooner!) your mind will come to terms with the fact that it isn't going to suddenly go away. You won't suddenly be without it.
Does that sound do-able to you? I know that that will be hard (psychologically) in the initial days, but I'd expect that pb's "power" over you would lessen.
Another option (albeit expensive) might be to buy some fresh made (like at Whole Foods) on a daily basis. Just a couple tbsps each time. But you'd have to be able to promise yourself that you would actually make the trip EVERY day. I emphasize every because this could result in resurrecting the restriction/binge cycle if you attempt to skip a few days...
We only have your words with your emphasis to go on here. I'm certainly no ED expert, but it seems to me that if you are having that level of problem with a single food that you cannot say "I'm not having that right now" to the point that you are depressed about not eating a particular food - I think you need more help and more mental work than we can give you on a faceless forum.
We only have your words with your emphasis to go on here. I'm certainly no ED expert, but it seems to me that if you are having that level of problem with a single food that you cannot say "I'm not having that right now" to the point that you are depressed about not eating a particular food - I think you need more help and more mental work than we can give you on a faceless forum.
^ Very much agree.
Niclyf - if you don't presently see anyone, I'd suggest browsing edreferral.com. I've found some great therapists through there in the past
We only have your words with your emphasis to go on here. I'm certainly no ED expert, but it seems to me that if you are having that level of problem with a single food that you cannot say "I'm not having that right now" to the point that you are depressed about not eating a particular food - I think you need more help and more mental work than we can give you on a faceless forum.
The problem with that .. is I've been in "treatment" a few times for anorexia .. and I actually have made more progress in terms of combatting overall food fears and weight restoration on my own .. the other issue with that is that I'm uninsured/unemployed .. which makes that all the more difficult.
I guess I don't get truly "depressed" about days when I don't eat peanut butter .. I've started to think "Ok .. this is the eating disorder telling you not to have it .. so have it!" .. and the result of that .. is that now I'm in a situation where if I keep doing that .. I'm going to be far higher in weight than I want to be. There are lots of foods that I love (fruits, tuna, cottage cheese, chicken, salmon, broccoli, oatmeal, etc) that I eat daily and don't have issues with portion control .. PB is the only food though that I actually CRAVE .. the other things I eat are just ones that I enjoy and eat often, but don't think about them obsessively if I don't have them. I guess I'm more looking for suggestions on how to overcome such an intense craving that is tied to ONE particular food. This is getting frustrating for me .. and the "book" views on how to deal with this are so conflicting (same say ban those foods .. others say to allow them to lessen the appeal eventually .. as in Intuitive Eating for example). Granted, that's worked on every other "feared food" I've taken on .. I got tired of fries, tired of pizza, tired of pasta, tired of "sweets" .. tired of chips, etc.,.. this PB thing though just is NOT going away!
I have a similar feeling to PB. Not quite as obsessively, I do control my portions down to 1 or 2 tablespoons, but I've told my husband I love him like peanut butter!
All that said, I have an idea for you. If you have a place nearby where you can get a few tablespoons at a time, that's great! Get it once a week. Or even a restaurant that serves peanut butter. Again, once a week. Otherwise, buy the smallest jar of peanut butter you can once a month. Even if you do eat the whole thing right then and there its only once a month. Maybe you have a supportive family member or friend; you can take the peanut butter there and eat your peanut butter meal with them and they can help you NOT eating the whole jar, and then keep the rest of the container.
All these things can help control the effects of that craving while you deal with emotional and psychological issues in the meantime. That, I know you realize, you have to do.
But I agree with Lisa too. All we can do is give uneducated suggestions.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Dog
Plus, my desire to remain stunningly attractive outweighs the call of the cheesecake. mostly...
Could it be the case that you are lacking good fats in your diet right now? Do you keep 40g or more of nut, avocado, fish oil type of fats in you daily life? Sometimes when I get really strong cravings for something it is a good indicator that there is something in that food I a lacking?
The other possibility is sugar. Have you cut sugar out of your life everywhere else and still eat PB with sugars? If so this could be your sugar fix craving...
Just two other possibilities....
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The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
Could it be the case that you are lacking good fats in your diet right now? Do you keep 40g or more of nut, avocado, fish oil type of fats in you daily life? Sometimes when I get really strong cravings for something it is a good indicator that there is something in that food I a lacking?
The other possibility is sugar. Have you cut sugar out of your life everywhere else and still eat PB with sugars? If so this could be your sugar fix craving...
Just two other possibilities....
I know that I'm definitely low on "good fats", so I'm guessing that's part of the craving. I think alot of it too .. it just 10 years of built up deprivation that has unleashed itself and given me such intense cravings that i feel like i just can't fight them! I don't eat sugars for the most part .. I use Splenda very lightly in tea/coffee (maybe 3-4 packets a day) and the rest of my diet is whole foods (oatmeal, fruits, veggies, tuna, chicken, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc.
This is getting frustrating .. I feel like I literally have NO power to say no when my head/body starts wanting PB!
well you may have hit the nail on the head if you are eating commercial PB instead of the stuff with NO sugar in it. I cannot eat any sort of PB except for the stuff I crunch up myself from whole peanuts because all the other stuff in the jar comes loaded with sugars. If yours is loaded with sugar than you are craving it for that.
If it doesn't have sugar than it is most likely the lack of fat and you will be able to help yourself perhaps by upping the fats in your diet a bit.
Also... you have a more fundamental problem than any of the things you and are talking about. If I remember correctly you still are only eating like 700 cals a day sometimes. That is going to leave you with serious cravings no matter what you do. To fix this "PB" craving might be part of a long row you have to hoe here. Get the calories right for your body and then get the macros right and then you have a better chance I'd say...
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The BIGGER I get the smaller you look
If it doesn't have sugar than it is most likely the lack of fat and you will be able to help yourself perhaps by upping the fats in your diet a bit.
Also... you have a more fundamental problem than any of the things you and are talking about. If I remember correctly you still are only eating like 700 cals a day sometimes. That is going to leave you with serious cravings no matter what you do. To fix this "PB" craving might be part of a long row you have to hoe here. Get the calories right for your body and then get the macros right and then you have a better chance I'd say...
The peanut butter I eat is natural .. so no added sugar or HFCS to stimulate the craving.
I'm not sure what's going on psysiologically ... Although not right, I managed to exist on very few calories for a long time without these insane cravings. I'm starting to wonder if what's happening is that my body didn't crave like this before, because it was so accustomed to being underfed, and now that it's being fed, if I even remotely try to cut back, it slaps me in the face with insatiable cravings that i feel like I have no control over. I really want to try a few days of "normalized" eating, but my fear is that I'll eat sufficiently all day, to still have this craving and then be even more in over my head calorically speaking .. but I guess it's a leap worth taking if it will eliminate the cravings. I also have absolutely no idea what's a good macronutrient ratio .. should I maybe try a 40/40/20 (carb, protein, fat) type of ratio?
Sorry to keep bugging all you wonderful ladies .. I just feel totally like a fish out of water right now!
When you don't eat for a long time and then start eating you have tremndous cravings, usually for fat and carbs. Your hormones are all jacked up and wanting you to keep doing what you are doing. That is why I always tell people who say they are never hungry to enjoy it while it lasts because when it kicks in, its insanely strong.
The best thing to do is to make sure the intake you do get is consitant and rich in nutrients. Make sure the vitamins, etc are covered well.
I would also, and this isn't dogmatic, set up more specific meal times if you haven't already. Ghrelin operates on a timer and gets used to eating at certain times. If you keep to a schedule and don't deviate, you should get less cravings overall.
When you don't eat for a long time and then start eating you have tremndous cravings, usually for fat and carbs. Your hormones are all jacked up and wanting you to keep doing what you are doing. That is why I always tell people who say they are never hungry to enjoy it while it lasts because when it kicks in, its insanely strong.
The best thing to do is to make sure the intake you do get is consitant and rich in nutrients. Make sure the vitamins, etc are covered well.
I would also, and this isn't dogmatic, set up more specific meal times if you haven't already. Ghrelin operates on a timer and gets used to eating at certain times. If you keep to a schedule and don't deviate, you should get less cravings overall.
Yep Leigh .. You hit the nail on the head .. "insanely strong" is putting it mildly.
Given the fact that I haven't been very "regimented" in my eating for the better part of about 10 years .. do you have any advice/suggestions on frequency of eating? Should I be going for three meals a day .. or is it better in this situation to 4-5 do mini-meals..
Also .. I'm hoping you won't mind if I pick your brain in the next day or two .. I went to my physician today, and he suggested a lot of what you've said already, in that he thinks my hormones are completely screwed up. He's checking me for Diabetes (since it's hereditary), my thyroid function, my kidney function and all of my electrolytes. I suspect that I'm probably fairly screwed up and could really use your guidance once I get the overall tally of what all is screwed up. Would you mind terribly if I PM you with the results so that you can look them over and let me know if there are additional things in addition to MRM program that might be helpful. Let me know if that would be ok .. I don't want to bug you too much ... but would love to have your opinion on it if it wouldn't be too much of a PITA for you .. Pretty P-L-E-A-S-E??
How to deal with this frustrating/overwhelming craving???
Every time I eat it .. I know it's keeping me further from achieving my goals .. but it's almost like I can't help it! *screams* .. How do I deal with this & overcome it .. so I can start eating properly, get the cravings to go away and start making the progress I so desperately want to make? 
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