Twas The Day After Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house,
no people were stirring, no kids, no spouse.
The stockings were down on the ground with flare,
Empty of all the chocolate that once had laid there.
The children were passed out on the couches all fed,
while visions of High Fructose Corn Syrup danced in their heads.
And mama in her kerchief and I in my cap,
were forced to settle down from a sugar coma nap.
When over in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
I rolled my full belly over to see what's the matter.
When what to my glazed over eyes should appear,
a tray full of food and a six pack of cold beer.
Like a little old driver, too slow and a little thick,
I knew at that moment I might make myself sick.
More rapid than eagles third coursers they came,
My tummy whistled and shouted and crumbled to be tamed.
Their eyes how they twinkled, it could have been all that sherry,
Their cheeks were like roses, oh wait that was all the cherries.
The droll on their mouth was falling on my toes,
And their was this beard on their chin, that's not where the food should go.
They had a puffy face and a round belly,
That shook when they laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
They were chubby and plump, a right full ole elf,
And I laugh when I say them and then I thought of myself.
With a wink of an eye and a turn of the head,
I saw my future and was filled with dread.
They spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
Shoveling down all the food with a fork.
Then they slowly waddled from their chair and gave a little whistle,
well it was more like the sound of a falling cruise missile.
I heard them exclaim right before they stumbled out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all and to all a good fright"
-Expert of The Day After Christmas
Leigh Peele
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This message was brought you by the foundation of a hope for a better food tossing out. We urge you to make christmas last just one day, and to take the next day to toss out all things and make leftovers a vision of the past, except for turkey, that can stay. Thank you.
Last edited by Leigh P. : 12-26-2007 at 12:43 PM.
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