Location: Philly on one side, Pittsburgh on another, the Green Between...
Posts: 5,857
..from a guy at Beginner tri--thought this was funny:
Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around.
They'll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this
happen to you. Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they
really mean when they say:
"I'm out of shape"
Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't missed a day since
the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you
wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your mortgage rate.
"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"
Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling
and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force you into
oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your
seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes.
"I'm on my beater bike"
Translation: I had this baby custom-made in Tuscany using titanium
blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs
less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.
"It's not that hilly"
Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be
careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You
have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon.
"You're doing great, honey"
Translation: Yo, lard ass, I'd like to get home before midnight. This
is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate.
I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.
"This is a no-drop ride"
Translation: I'll need an article of your clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs.
Originally posted by FishrCutB8: ..from a guy at Beginner tri--thought this was funny:
Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers around.
They'll say anything to soften you up for the kill. Don't let this
happen to you. Study this handy rider's phrasebook to find out what they
really mean when they say:
"I'm out of shape"
Lisa's Translation: No really, I'm out of shape. I work, I come home, I eat with the kids and sit on my ass watching softball. Some days the most exercise I get is doing the laundry.
"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in shape"
Lisa's Translation: Pleae don't attack me until I collapse in the gutter, babbling
and whimpering. You will win the line sprint even if you ride into oncoming traffic and weave the whole way doing figure 8s in the street. You will crest this hill first even if you grab my
seat post, and spray energy drink in my eyes.
"I'm on my beater bike"
Lisa's Translation: I bought this thing on my first trip to a LBS on the advice of my husband and it may cause a divorce.
"It's not that hilly"
Lisa's Translation: This climb lasts longer than a presidential campaign. Be
careful on the steep sections or you'll fall over -- backward. You
have a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon. Dammit I thought you said this wasn't that hilly you bitch!!
"You're doing great, honey"
ODBs Translation: Yo, lard ass, I'd like to get home before midnight. This
is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate.
I shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.
"This is a no-drop ride"
Lisa's Translation: OH god, they're going to need an article of my clothing for the search-and-rescue dogs. I hope they have a rescue copter too.
"It's not that far"
ODBs Translation: It's just 5 more miles honey. Just 5 more miles.
__________________
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Originally posted by ODB: (like you can have a bad mountain bike ride!)
Remember that attitude on Monday May 16th when I am wimpering about hurting and wanting to go home. There's a reason I don't adventure race - I don't embrace pain, I run screaming in horror from it.
PS: JP will soften me up on Sunday, so I should have legs like putty for you guys.
quote:Originally posted by ODB: (like you can have a bad mountain bike ride!)
Remember that attitude on Monday May 16th when I am wimpering about hurting and wanting to go home. There's a reason I don't adventure race - I don't embrace pain, I run screaming in horror from it.
PS: JP will soften me up on Sunday, so I should have legs like putty for you guys. [/quote]I would recommend doing upper body on Sunday. I need to talk to JP about which trail to take you too. It would be great to do the womble but I don't know that I will have time. We have plenty of other options. I have only been riding on weekends lately so it won't be a super tough day.
__________________
***
Today's mighty oak was once just some nut who held his ground!
Aaron and I were originally planning on taking the trip to the Womble that Monday (the 16). I've had a hard semester, and the long ride will be needed. We had discussed the shuttle option, after all.
Sarah
__________________
From Aoife: You're just being a brat. You want to have a nice perfect body with no work. So do the rest of us. Too bad there's that reality thing, huh. I mean, come on...
chainringrrl.blogspot.com
Originally posted by Kaiser: Remember that attitude on Monday May 16th when I am wimpering about hurting and wanting to go home. There's a reason I don't adventure race - I don't embrace pain, I run screaming in horror from it.
PS: JP will soften me up on Sunday, so I should have legs like putty for you guys.
Translation: I've been putting in over 300 miles a week plus 2 days of hill repeats to come make you arkies look like the pansy asses you are.
Quote:
Originally posted by ODB: I would recommend doing upper body on Sunday. I need to talk to JP about which trail to take you too. It would be great to do the womble but I don't know that I will have time. We have plenty of other options. I have only been riding on weekends lately so it won't be a super tough day.
There's always time for the Womble d00d. *cough* *cough* Sorry boss, I'm sick today.
Quote:
Originally posted by silly: Aaron and I were originally planning on taking the trip to the Womble that Monday (the 16). I've had a hard semester, and the long ride will be needed. We had discussed the shuttle option, after all.
Sarah
Now this is the kind of attitude I like! Very few rides lately and STILL down. I like you!
Originally posted by bmph8ter: Translation: I've been putting in over 300 miles a week plus 2 days of hill repeats to come make you arkies look like the pansy asses you are.
Haha. I wish. I'm getting close to being dropped on my road rides, and I live in flatland Chicago so I don't know what a real hill looks like. When I ride out in WV, I am scared shitless - I really have no technical riding skills, and the ones I have have fallen into disuse.
So I am truly at your mercy. You could take me out, ride me into the ground or off a cliff, and leave me in the backwoods and the only way anyone would know is that JP would be wondering where his bike is.
I guarantee you will be disappointed unless you take me on something flat and paved. [says Kaiser as they reconsider their offer to take him out]
Location: Philly on one side, Pittsburgh on another, the Green Between...
Posts: 5,857
What Kaiser meant to say, is:
Haha. I wish. I'm getting close to being dropped on my road rides...
...with the Discovery Team here... and I live in flatland Chicago so I don't know what a real hill looks like....but those pesky 55 mph winds have had a slight influence on my pedaling cadence.
When I ride out in WV, I am scared shitless - I really have no technical riding skills, and the ones I have have fallen into disuse... because it's so difficult to think about technical skill when your hitting the falts at 40 mph 3/4 of an inch from Lance's tire.
So I am truly at your mercy. You could take me out, ride me into the ground or off a cliff, and leave me in the backwoods and the only way anyone would know is that JP would be wondering where his bike is... but we both know that won't happen as I shred you and leave your rotting carcass on the backwoods of the Womble for roving wild pigs to dine upon.
I guarantee you will be disappointed unless you take me on something flat and paved...[ because disappointment is often what people half my age feel when I put the hammer down and destroy them like ant hills under my shoe.
Originally posted by FishrCutB8: What Kaiser meant to say, is:
Haha. I wish. I'm getting close to being dropped on my road rides...
...with the Discovery Team here... and I live in flatland Chicago so I don't know what a real hill looks like....but those pesky 55 mph winds have had a slight influence on my pedaling cadence.
When I ride out in WV, I am scared shitless - I really have no technical riding skills, and the ones I have have fallen into disuse... because it's so difficult to think about technical skill when your hitting the falts at 40 mph 3/4 of an inch from Lance's tire.
So I am truly at your mercy. You could take me out, ride me into the ground or off a cliff, and leave me in the backwoods and the only way anyone would know is that JP would be wondering where his bike is... but we both know that won't happen as I shred you and leave your rotting carcass on the backwoods of the Womble for roving wild pigs to dine upon.
I guarantee you will be disappointed unless you take me on something flat and paved...[ because disappointment is often what people half my age feel when I put the hammer down and destroy them like ant hills under my shoe.
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