Couldn't workout at all yesterday because we had a city-wide black out. I could barely shower (had to save some hot water for hubby) so I took a "hoe" bath as my momma calls them. You know, the kind of shower where you have to hit the hot spots and pray no one gets close to you. Fortunately, the electricity came back on after we went out for breakfast.
I had to actually go into the office today but before I left I did 40 minutes of low impact aerobics, The FIRM Ultimate Fat Burning Workout and burned 310 calories. Let's hope that my diligence with food paid off this week since my exercise suffered.
Weight loss this week: 0.5lbs (I thought I dropped at least a pound since I got my eating under better control)
I did check out my measurements today just so I wouldn't get discouraged and here's what I got
Arms (stayed the same)
Bust (lost 0.5 inches)
Chest (lost 0.5 inches - under the bust line)
Waist (lost 0.5 inches)
Low Abs (lost 0.5 inches)
Hips (lost 0.5 inches)
Thighs (lost 0.5 inches total)
Calves (stayed the same)
So I'm down 3 inches and 2lbs total in 2 weeks which isn't bad at all. Although I didn't workout today (knee-deep in grading 84 papers of hot rancid garbage), I need to make sure I hit he 1-2 punch of diet AND exercise. I feel my exercise ADD coming on so I may just use my strength and cardio DVD's for exercise while sticking with the OPT eating plan. We'll see...
I was overboard with my calories for about 3 days and spent the last 4 trying to balance everything out. Apparently overeating coupled with only 3 days of exercise resulted in a small loss. Fortunately, it's not a gain.
I am still having problems controlling my portions. I messed around last night and made 12 Fiber One Apple and Cinnamon Muffins. Normally, sweets do nothing for me. In fact, we have had a King Size Snickers Bar on the kitchen counter for nearly 2 weeks that my husband bought but I haven't thought twice about it. But for some reason, baked goods (cookies, muffins, cake and pie) are quickly becoming "danger" foods for me. It used to be salty refined carbs like tortilla chips were my cocaines (still are to be honest) but now baked goods are on my list of "DO NOT PLACE IN SHOPPING CART" because I managed to eat all 12 of those muffins in 2 DAYS! WTF????
Of course, I rationallzed it by thinking "Well, each muffin does have 5 grams of fiber." And while I need more fiber, I don't need 60 grams between two sittings (hubby is too polite to tell me if I've been farting in my sleep). Ack! I really can't pinpoint what causes me to binge like this. Yes, I'm busy with work, buying a house (yep, in this crazy market) and dealing with crazy relatives. Yet, for me, managing this sort of stress seems par for the course...Or maybe not.
As I've gotten older and my stress level has increased and so too has my waistline. In a 3 year period, I have moved across country, moved again locally, secured a tenure-track faculty job, finished my dissertation, got married then defended my dissertation 3 days later, watched my beloved grandmother lose her battle with lung cancer, pledged a sorority, started the home buying process in the midst of this economy, took community college courses to defer loans a bit longer so I could save for a home. I have a 60+ mile per day commute (luckily I only teach 3 days a week)
And I wonder why I binge eat.
Superwoman is tired and when I'm tired, I binge. Oh yeah, I'm also a night-owl so it makes it even more challenging to resist temptation when no one else is awake to see me abuse food.
I really want to lose this weight once and for all but it seems like the cards are stacked against me because I'm so damned stressed out. This is the proverbial "climbing uphill with skates on" connundrum. I can't stop working or stop being married or stop being concerned about my ailing grandparents. So how can I give myself a fighting chance to win at this weight loss game?
Sorry to hear life is general stressed out... we all deal with stress different. Hopefully you can figure it out and get on track. Remember a stressed out body will not give up weight very easily!
Thanks Jen - I used to think I could handle stress better but in the last few months, I've felt this bone-aching, soul-robbing type of exhaustion and I know it's because I have so much going on and I can't seem to stop. I'm not depressed but I'm tired - mentally and physically and I just wish I could take a week away from everything (work, husband, family, friends, everything) and just recharge my batteries. But everytime I think of doing something like that the issue of money, time and feeling guilty or emotionally blackmailed (this happened today with my boss...Meh!).
I did manage to do 30 minutes of step aerobics today and had a good breakfast. But things went straight to hell when I gave my boss a courtesy heads up that I applied for a new job. I'm not really on the market but this is an opportunity I can't pass up. She actually cried on me and begged me not to leave despite the workload issues, salary, etc. Couple this with grading over 80 student papers, evaluating 120 applications for our faculty search and having a student ask for a character reference so she won't get expelled from college just set me up for a binge. A muffin lead to fries which gave way to Skittles. Afterwards I felt tremendous guilt for my lack of willpower. Urrrgghhh! I just want to shut out the world and yet I keep trying to plug away in hopes that through some miracle, things will all fall into place.
I totally hear you on this Donna.... I'm a major stress eater myself and can relate completely. It kind of attacks you, doesn't it... that urge to suddenly devour whatever happens to be within reach. Major suckola. The feeling of "WTF did I just do THAT for?" is always so wonderful, isn't it?
It sounds like your boss needs some serious counseling LOL.... I hope that the opportunity to move on works out!
Hang in there... we're all fighting this beast together! We'll get there! (P.S. I ate some skittles today too.... and I don't even like them very much!
"As far as (healthy) eating, either do it, or don't. Same issues repeated over and over is just insanity. We either commit to the endeavor or pay lip-service to it. This is the hardest part of the whole process, and it needs to be practiced more than the actual physical training. It's mind training." ~ Matt Thorne
"The reason that most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment."
In fact, I'm down to 209.5 (another pound down). I have had to tweak things a bit because things are really hectic at work with all of the budget cuts. I'm following Weight Watchers and using my workout DVDs. Convenience is the only way I'll stay consistent through all of this uncertainty.
My department started to conduct a faculty search (reviewed 160 applications, spent an entire day doing phone interviews) only to be told later that we will probably have to cancel the search because our operating budget is being slashed to ZERO. How the hell does an academic department function on no money whatsoever? To say that we're stressed and morale is low is putting it mildly.
Anyway, I've managed to do okay with my eating (celebrated a bit too much post-election day though). I've gotten in 3 good and short but solid workouts although my goal is to get in another one tomorrow. I was aiming for 5 but a friend is visiting on Sunday so my workout room will turn into a guest bedroom so that takes care of that.
Still aiming to get to ONEderland (or 199.5) by December 21. There's a chance I'll get to spend Christmas and New Year's in England which I would love. But with this economy, I might be staying home.
So glad to see that you checked in Donna... I was thinking about you last night and wanted to make sure that I posted in your log today to see how you were doing. Sounds like things are going well for you.... well, except for the work crap. Unbelievable...
Hang in there!
"As far as (healthy) eating, either do it, or don't. Same issues repeated over and over is just insanity. We either commit to the endeavor or pay lip-service to it. This is the hardest part of the whole process, and it needs to be practiced more than the actual physical training. It's mind training." ~ Matt Thorne
"The reason that most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment."
I'm sorry everything seems to be gaining on you and you can't slow down. I'm constantly thinking the same thoughts - I just want to get off this treadmill. The best I have to offer in regards to weight loss is that you are doing the right thing to keep trying. No one is going to be perfect, so you just have to do the best you can and not give up.
Here's a binge story you might like. About two months ago, we got some terrible news and we went over to my boyfriend's dad's house to sort things out and try to figure out what to do. Of course they offered me food, so I proceeded to inhale two plates of shrimp fettucini alfredo. Then I polished off an entire box of crackers dipped in peanut butter. Shawn's stepmom says, there's a buster bar in the freezer if you want it, so I ate that. I also drank four coronas during this. When we headed back home, I told Shawn to pull in the Dairy Queen where I ate a large thin mint blizzard. By the time we got back to Pittsburgh he said he was ready to eat something and I ordered a colossal fish sandwich, which I ate about half of before I was ready to throw up, had to undo my pants and stop. I managed to stop eating for the rest of the day until we went to the bar that night. While Shawn was outside talking on the phone to his kids I ordered some buffalo wings. The look on his face when he walked back in and saw me with that chicken was priceless!
My point is you are not alone. I haven't done anything like this since then, but it doesn't mean I might not do it again. I probably will. Just keep trying and get back up when you fall. You can do this.
Lori - Things are going alright. I'm trying to stay consistent so if that means short but intense workouts, then that's what I'll do. Journaling my food is helping alot because without it, I'd put everything in my mouth. I made a discovery the other day about me and refined carbs. Normally, I go for salty, savory stuff but recently, I've gorged on muffins, cake, cookies. My husband went to the British store and loaded up on junk...trigger foods for me: white chocolate bars, Digestives chocolate cookies, etc. I finally told him, if he didn't hide it, it was getting tossed in the trash. This is huge for me because I'm being pro-active for a change. I can't have the stuff in the house and succeed so I've laid down some ground rules. Luckily, my husband is totally supportive of my efforts even if he is forgetful Thanks for checking up on me.
Leah - Your story helped me more than you know. Thank you. I look at someone as fit as you are and automatically assume that you have it easy. But stress will do that to you and I've been under a constant barrage of it for years. The only thing that's working is setting boundaries and taking time to relax. For instance today I had planned to workout but I woke up to cramps so I gave myself the day off and got my nails and toes done. I enjoyed movie night with my husband and though I graded some stuff papers, I took it easy. If I attach guilt to every missed workout or over-indulgence of food, I run the risk of giving into to my all or nothing mentality and do nothing about my weight. So that you for letting me know I'm not alone.
I'm down another 1.5lbs bringing me to 208. This is the lowest weight I've been all year and the last time I was at this weight was in early 2006 right before my grams was diagnosed with lung cancer. I stress ate my weight back up to 215 by my wedding and dissertation defense in May 2007 and gradually got to 221 by January 2008. So this is a huge accomplishment for me.
I still need to work on consistency with my workouts. I managed three intense but short ones but I plan to kick it up to 5 this week. I've also decided to cancel my classes today so I could finish grading all of these papers once and for all as it is a constant source of stress. A mental health day is in order to keep me from abusing food.
It looks like I'll be spending Christmas in the UK with my MIL. DH is worried that she will be spending the holiday alone and we only have enough in our budget for one of us to go without cutting into our down payment for a house (we put in an offer on a short sale but have yet to hear a response). Since I have more time off and because I'm very close to my MIL, it was decided that I should go. She has passport issues keeping her from coming out here. Anyway, this means I have 6 weeks to reach my goal of ONEderland so I'm buckling down by upping my workouts, keeping my journal and getting enough sleep for a change.
Donna - congrats on getting to 208! Sounds like you have the plans in place to meet your goal. Sorry to hear you and Len can't both go visit your MIL - no chance of getting her passport issues ironed out so she can visit you both??
Tracey - My MIL's citizenship is in Sierra Leone (long story) and it's expired. There is an embassy in London but the idiots don't have the forms or the capability to renew her passport right then and there. She would have to return to Sierra Leone even though she's set to receive her British citizenship in October 2009. But we got word today that one of the lienholders for the house we put an offer in on accepted so we wait for the other one. If that happens, no trip to the UK because we need to all the money we can for moving expenses, etc.
Jen - Thanks for the congrats. Since August, I've hovered between 209 and 211. I finally broke that pattern and it feels really good.
Yesterday, I did 30 minutes of step aerobics with light weights (FIRM Fat Blasting Cardio). Today, I did 30 minutes of upper body lifting (FIRM Jiggle Free Arms). Tomorrow is planned rest because of my long teaching schedule.
Donna--just subbing to your log. I've been following your progress on and off and even through the stresses of life, you are really doing great. It's hard to stick with it when so much is chaotic around you, but you keep getting right back on where you left off! KUTGW!
Down 0.5lbs this week. After the week I had, that is wonderful. I half-assed tracked and only managed 3 workouts again. I was exhausted by Wednesday (graded nearly 100 papers for 3 days straight and left work at 11pm after a 13 hour day). I slept for almost 2 days straight
My only saving grace was that I chugged water and got my portions back under control by Saturday. We even went to see Quantum of Solace and I didn't have any popcorn
Now that the manic grading week is over, I'm back to a clean slate and my goals for the week are to track my WW points (combo of calories, fat and fiber), drink 8 or more cups of water per day and do 6 short workouts (no more than 30 minutes each). I'm about 8lbs from my goal so I will keep plugging away.
Leah - Thanks for the encouragement
Hi CelestialMom - Thanks for the support. If nothing else, I'm stubborn as hell and I refuse to be 200lbs in 2009.
"As far as (healthy) eating, either do it, or don't. Same issues repeated over and over is just insanity. We either commit to the endeavor or pay lip-service to it. This is the hardest part of the whole process, and it needs to be practiced more than the actual physical training. It's mind training." ~ Matt Thorne
"The reason that most people fail instead of succeed is that they trade what they want most for what they want at the moment."
Stopping by to check in on you. I totally missed the whole hoe bath discussion and it made me laugh. I am doing something similar right now, but there is no getting around it. I have to be at work at a certain time - but I am kicking free ass kickings from a great trainer - so I am hoeing it up in the bathroom at work, praying no one walks in. *phew* That was a total confession.
You are doing well. Hang in there - you are so close to hitting that goal and you know you can do it.
And, I also love the new avi. Pretty girl.
__________________
Ginger
"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start." ~ John Bingham
I'm up 1lb this week. I started out the week alright but then we got word that our offer on a house was accepted and I celebrated way too much on Wednesday and never got back to tracking. (The UK trip is off the table but I don't care. We got a great deal for $30K below their asking and $100K below what they originally put it on the market for). I exercised but if I don't track my food, it's all for naught. So this week, despite the holiday, I'm back to tracking EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I'm 9lbs from goal so I have to kick this into high gear because we're expected to close escrow toward the end of the year and moving does hell on my waistline.
I've decided to not cook this Thanksgiving since it's just the two of us and made a reservation at Black Angus (gotta coupon too ). I will only be making 2 sweet potato pies which my husband usually inhales so I'm hoping the damage is minimal.
Lori - Thanks for the compliment babe....Totally not hammered in this avatar pic...LOL
Ginny - I'd take hoe baths too if I got free training.
Kathy - Awww, shucks....You all are great on a woman's self-esteem, ya know?
I'm reporting another gain...this time 3lbs. Fortunately, I know it was caused by PMS-related water weight gain so I'm hoping to drop the 3lbs next week. I did relatively well over the Thanksgiving holiday because we went to my uncle's house for dinner and refused to take any leftovers home. I didn't workout much though...boo, hiss.
I started this week out on a much more positive note with regards to the exercise although I had to take a rest day today since I'm working on dose #2 of the Midol (cramps, backache and bloating). Eating has been controlled thus far. I do need to ramp up my water intake though and I'm planning to workout tomorrow.
Thanks for the congrats Tracey and Celestialmom on the house. Now the nickel and diming that is closing costs begins. We're trying to close escrow soon so we can move over our vacation. I am so not looking forward to the actual packing and moving. The whole process reduces me and my husband to grunting and fussin'....
Thanks Jen...Yes, this is OUR first house but my husband's 2nd.
The entire process has been crazy and did put a strain on our marriage (2 years in May '09) but we worked through shouting matches, dashed dreams and accepting reality. We started saving for a down payment (no help from family or friends) and looking at homes right after our wedding and my dissertation defense (all in the same week) and then the death of my grandmother in Sept. '07. I have been under tremendous stress (actually for about 5 years; Tracey will tell you) and so my eating and lack of exercise has been directly tied to all of this (along with an outrageous teaching load, research demands, etc). Nonetheless, I haven't given up on my goal...it's just taking me longer to get there....
Monday - FIRM Cardio Party (40 minutes) Burned 337 calories
Tuesday - Off (TTOTM cramps, backache and headache)
Wednesday - FIRM Super Body Sculpt (43 minutes) - Lower, Upper and Core Strength Training (used 8-12lbs)
Checking in with 40 minutes of step aerobics done (burned 345 calories). Eating was quite good today. I have a 2nd interview for an administrative position I applied for and I'm hoping to get it. I love teaching but the working conditions I'm dealing with are well...shitty. We'll see how it goes. I am grateful to have a job nonetheless...
Hey Lisa - We're buying a home in South Bay and yes, I still teach at CSUF. Hopefully, this administrative position I'm interviewing for gives me another option closer to home.
WW Weigh-In #6
Back down 1.5lbs this week. Not bad but I could have done better with my exercise and not eating out as much. One of my friends from grad school visited and I had a little too much alcohol and junk carbs. Luckily, I'm pretty much off this week as my students prepare for their final exams next week so I have the time to re-stock the kitchen while I'm purging and packing the other rooms in anticipation for closing escrow by the end of the month.
Workout planned for today is FIRM: Complete Aerobic Weight Training (alternates weights and cardio).
And while I need more fiber, I don't need 60 grams between two sittings (hubby is too polite to tell me if I've been farting in my sleep). Ack! I really can't pinpoint what causes me to binge like this. Yes, I'm busy with work, buying a house (yep, in this crazy market) and dealing with crazy relatives. Yet, for me, managing this sort of stress seems par for the course...Or maybe not. 
Thanks for checking up on me.
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