I think every anorexic has a story. The issue of self acceptance and self love, as well as the aspect of self respect connected to being deserving of others' love and admiration is something rooted very very deeply in almost every person with an eating disorder, but every story is different. You need a lot of background to know how to work with anorexia and opening cans of emotional issues is no fun
I don't like it when anorexia is put broadly under the category of "control issues'', since control is only the surface sign that we notice, and underlying there are so many other emotional disruptions. Anorexia is often coupled with body image disorders, and compulsions that do not make it easier to deal with. What often strikes me is that some anorexics will show similar behaviors with the tools they use to get better, they struggle to relax about anything, every new piece of knowledge is another thing they can now obsess over. I think it takes a lot of love from their immediate environment, a lot of compassion and understanding and true nurturing of new habits. There are tools like NLP and even plain old CBT that help a great deal.
There is a great book, called Lying in Weight, that deals with issues of women that have been through eating disorders in their young years, who have to face them again as older adults. It's scary to think it never really goes away, but knowing it can come back can make you more aware.
@the original poster, what made you post this question? I am sorry if you made it clear somewhere else, I don't read everything on the forums these days.