Help me! my wife and I are fighting about working out. Whenever I get into a good groove with training/eating, this always comes up in some way. I get very regimented, I don't want to cheat on my diet, I don't want to skip workouts when I have them planned. I am the only one of my friends that works out and eats healthy (at least what those two terms mean to me), and while my wife is active and does okay, she's not as into it as I am, and we have different ideas (me: planned programs, planned diets, low carbs, very few cheats; her: a couple of walks per week, portion control, rewarding yourself on the weekends), and while I love my wife, she hasn't reached any of her goals and gets upset at herself. She's far more lenient than I am on myself, as I don't have success when I reward myself for going for a walk. I try to tell her about some of the stuff I do, about not letting up on yourself and being more critical, and it's hard because I come off as an insensitive jerk. When I don't want to eat her pasta or homemade jam, she gets upset. When I try to make my own decisions and exercise will power (something I view as positive), I'm wondering if she is sabotaging me because she doesn't want to go as far as I am going. When we are out to eat and I don't want an appetizer or a dessert and she does, I get a little look from her, like she really wanted one and now feels guilty if she gets it. Then I feel guilty about being boring. I'm trying to be a positive influence but our different views on health get in each other's ways.
She has had knee surgeries and can't workout like she used to yet (she was a runner and soccer player). She's also a physical therapist (with a doctorate), but doesn't agree with me about squats and deadlifts and intense training and dieting, and when I talk about my programs she gets a little critical and skeptical of me. She thinks I get sucked into things.
I'm sure this is common for everyone, I've experienced it in the past with friends and family, but with my wife it's very hard. Now that we live together I can't just do my own thing. If I want to make my own chicken breast and spinach for dinner and she wants pasta with meat sauce, it causes tension.
Any advice for couples???
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