In your early 20's it's probably not a bad idea to take your time. If you've been through that gauntlet and you somehow find yourself single again, it may not take as long as an adult because you know yourself better (theoretically) and you have a better idea of what you like.
Like Lt Hebert, I met my wife 20 years ago. We dated a year, were engaged for two, and then married to 17. Sadly it didn't work out, so you really never know. It's kind of like freak accidents... You just don't foresee it. You can think that everything is going fine because you've made it past all the big milestones and in a flash it's over.
Don't let my cynicism taint you though... Many people make it that long and they really are safe. That's why it's so scary to fall in love with someone. You are exposing yourself to extreme pain and possibility of a broken heart, but you can't let that fear prevent you from experiencing the exhilaration of love and all the things that go along with that (children, building a home, etc).
Even though I now know that my relationship failed, I can still look back and say that I have no regrets about my decision to enter into that relationship. I'd probably do it again.
Now for the fancy wedding... I'm torn on that one. My ex was somewhat remorseful that she didn't have a fancier wedding, which would have been nice, but we were young and didn't have a lot of money. I honestly think that we would have regretted it more if we had spent anywhere near $20K. If you have parents who have the means, that's great. If you don't and you plan to spend all the money yourselves and you're worried about student loans, why don't you scale down a little so you can take a really nice trip for a honeymoon and keep your money for setting up your home. Just my 2 pesos, FWIW.
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