Ian
Don't listen to them.
First, figure out what you are want to pay. (can afford to pay). Do not buy into these arbitrary price guidelines - such as three months wages ....
Then think about how to maximize your value for what you are paying. Keep in mind that women do NOT usually wear their engagement ring AFTER they are married. Speak up married folks, you know this is true.
There a lost of ways to go to get more "bang for your buck" - whit gold instead of platinum (some find plat is too "cold"), if you want to get the most "ring for your money" go with a solitaire" the "flecks or small stones are of little value and just "bump up" the ring (fine to put them on to add "sparkle" but disregard them as having any value other than cosmetic) .
Jewelers will often try and sell you on the the 4 c's.
Clarity: there is a scale that rates the inclusions or blemishes, and once your get to VS1, the price jumps every grade. Now here is the trick. Jewelers will give you a song and dance about the investment, etc. But basically you need to get above VS1. That means it is not visible to the naked eye. You can in fact go a bit lower with a good setting that "hides" the inclusions. (Clarity above VS1 or if you more fussy VVS2 is strictly for an "investment diamond- and if she is wearing it and scratching it- it is not an investment diamond). Higher clarities are "sales gimmicks for the normal consumer. Hey if you are rich than great- get Flawless grade.
Color- I think that anything over a I or H - G -to be safe- is fine, though of course higher is better- it depends how much you want to spend. (remember this scale is somewhat arbritrary so look at it!
Cut- This is the most important aspect for the consumer. A good cut will make a decent diamond look great!
Carat- basically the size, but again this a a big "sell" point. but is not that important- don't be impressed when they tell you that is has another half carat of diamond around the stone... doesn't cost much to do that.
Setting... NOT on of the big C's but probably the most important. This is where a GOOD jeweler is separated form the pack. He will take a decent diamond and make it look great. Things (to my eye) that perk up a diamond- white gold, stones around it. setting that boots the "height" of the diamond. It is a matter of taste and don't be afraid to say yeah right but still looks like shit.
BTW, even a high quality diamond will not look as good in a yellow gold or pink gold setting because it will reflect the pink or yellow (unless of course you have a yellow diamond Mr. Gates... lol)
This most important thing is:
Buy the seller not the ring This actually comes from watches but it holds true here. What you are buying is not a ring. You need to buy a store first. Best places to shop- family owned businesses -preferably with a referral from someone who has a relationship with that seller- people networks count!
Go by yourself (by yourself) to Tiffany or similar shop - (don't bring GF because ultimately you do not want to buy from Tiffany
) But have a look at a 1 carat diamond, and then a .3 and you see they both look great. It is the quality not the size (of course the 1 carat probably looks better) Ask questions and pretend you can afford their stuff
.
Then look elsewhere, keep in mind some of the settings that tiffany can use will not look so good with lesser quality stones.
ALSO - consider that a sapphire (or other stone) can make a beautiful engagement ring and is much more versatile. (Diamond engagment rings are often seen as formal wear and many women wear them at formal events ONLY so Xmas dinner, a wedding, (not even a funeral - since u have to wear pearls
) , graduations, etc. But a BIG kick ass sapphire works everywhere!
One final comment:
It might be slightly different in the US, but the price point where is starts to get silly is around .75 carats- once you get over around that size the price really starts to jump for diamonds. BUT .7 is big and with a good setting and design it can really impress the hell out you. (oas could a well done .3 - )
Hope my ramblings help.
Cheers
Peter