Let me preface this with saying the following...
I am not a doctor
I am going off of what you have put and what my experience has been in the past
Non of this is judgmental, just what I am seeing.
So that I don't ramble I am going to keep this to numbered points.
1. Counting calories - You don't have to count calories, but if you are gaining fat you are eating too much. AN girls are notorious for underestimating intake and not moving that much naturally. Even with high anxiety levels there is still a lot of sedentary lifestyle. This is why a lot of them turn to compulsive exercising too.
You are eating crap food, not moving enough more than likely, and the result is you feeling hungry all the time, feeling tired from the food you are taking in, and looking like crap because of it.
Solution? If you can't count calories because of head issues then you need to find a fail proof system of intake of portion control or meal plans set within a certain caloric range. Stop eating crap, start eating food that is good for you, and you are going to feel better.
AN girls usually have jacked up ghrelin, messed up insulin response, and gut health issues. Sounds like to me you are doing the reverse of everything you should be doing.
In short you are like a smoker saying "wtf why can't I breath???"
There is a solution to your problems but you have to be realistic about what you have to do to fix it.
If you want more help in gauging your activity level I recommend getting a GWF. Even if it does lead yo to more OC habits, I think in the long run knowing for girls like you is better than not. Skip my books and buy that. Just read my blog, all my book info is there anyway.
2-You need a basic program of lifting and I wouldn't recommend NROL. I don't like what supersetting does with girls that deal with these issues. Just from my experiance. I think if you have a history of hormone or ED problems you should stick to a higher rest body split style program. Just a simple upper/lower 4 days a week would suffice really.
I don't think your metabolism is broken, I think your spirit is. AN is about control, in my opinion you can run from it (like you are doing now), let it destroy you (like you were doing before), or work with it. I vote work with it. Take control of your diet and life in a healthy way, start eating healthy foods, and stop wasting your time worrying about what happened in the past.
As for your activity level it varies. I always recommend to keep it simple use the Harris Benedict formula, times it by a lower activity level and then move up as need if loss is too much.
I don't think you need to eat in a surplus on any large level, just get back to eating and lifting in healthy amounts and then as you need adjust upwards.
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