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Old 04-19-2009, 06:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
Kirstin
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 9
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Back amongst the living! Just a bad cold, but it cut into my computer time, which is probably a good thing!

Eats were good to low during the illness and I've managed to drop to 180.8# today (179 yesterday - oh well, it'll get there!). I also have kept up on the walking and have had some pretty good burns despite not feeling well cuz once I get out there, it feels so good, I just keep on going! But I've been smart and haven't overdone and am feeling good, especially after a re-feed of pancakes and bacon!

It's amazing to me, now that I am tracking and noticing what I am eating, how much what I eat affects my energy and exercise ability. 2 weeks ago, I had a re-feed day of guacomole and chips and could have walked for hours and hours afterwards. This past Fri., after a low calorie week with a good balance of macros, I barely made 3 miles. Granted, it was the first warm day we've had (I was actually sweating) and I should have had a little snack before I left, but I forgot, but nevertheless, I understand things a little bit better.

I am sad that it's taken me so long to get to this point, and that I've wasted so much time being fat and unhealthy and stresing out about it, but I am happy that I have made strides towards getting it and plan on continuing down this road forever. I don't know if it's age or just more knowledge and understanding or what, but this time around, I am willing to give myself time and enjoy the process and can see that this is the way it can be forever - I can eat this way and feel happy and satisfied and don't feel deprived. I can give myself permission to have a Reeses Peanut Butter Bunny (...drool...) and not have it ruin all the work I've done by bingeing and going back to the old eating habits and winding up heavier than ever. And, I finally realize that I can't drop 50# in 2 months and that it's going to take time and I'm OK with it. Whatever it is, I am so thankful and I don't ever want to go back to the place I was at 70# ago.
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