This log is about a (hopeful) bodybuilder's journey through body reconstruction, but at a deeper level it is about a middle aged woman's journey to body acceptance and better overall health.....
This is my body. Today it looks fat in my eye. Tomorrow it may look fine and even sometimes it is Hawt. The mirror, the scale the body images in my mind all play tricks on my perception so that on any given day I don't know if I will love or not love my body. The one thing I do know is that this is the only one I got. I know that when I don't love my body and neglect it, I get fat and feel awful, so my work is to love it and to mold it such that it feels healthy and strong. I have a vision that one day this body will present itself on a stage in the spirit of the sport of bodybuilding. I have some years to go to gain mass to do this without total embarassment. To reconstruct this body towards my goal, I do cycles of cutting and bulking and even some culking.
Today I feel fat because I am at the top of a 6 month bulk. I have put on 16 lbs over that time. It was a clean gain (as far as gains go) but even so it is sometimes hard to accept all that weight. But I know that I must accept this as part of the process just as I must accept my scars and stretch marks and lose skin. Yes, I have a long way to go but I have come such a distance already and so the future looks promising. Besides the journey is mostly fun.
My old log is here if you care to see from where I started....
Never 2 Late 2 Chase the Dream (it's better than liposuction)
I shall not post every day due to time constraints, but rather when there is something significant to report or say I have a place to put it.