DarkMind, CoachDavid & Chris Correia, thank you all very much for the valuable contributions.
To start with the last one: decided to change gears and no longer try to drop fat/weight as even a small deficit was hampering progress. The first 2 months I have actually eaten at maintenance and did well. Last month I dropped weight but barely any fat.. a good indication it was a bad idea to cut. Besides.. even if I would want to compete, there's still at least 1 year to go (will need to be snatching a minimum of 40kg) , plus there's precious little competiton, even disregarding the fact I'm an old gal of 45yrs. So there's no real pressure to drop down to the 58kg class even though it might be a smart idea to improve the ratio of lifting vs BW (Wilkinson?)
CoachDavid: thanks for the links, will study them. Being the person who I am I tend to
1 overanalyze
2 overworry
Main thing to learn to accept is like Chris says to just practice and do and not worry about how I may be the most klutzy person ever. Used to think the same about many other things too and perhaps it will take me more time than most, it can be done with enough effort.
ETA: LOL'd .. the 2nd & 3rd link I've already seen soon after subscribing to XL Athlete and scanned will read it more carefully again. Gave me some good ideas like practicing OH squats to begin with.
Darkmind.. yes state of mind. More food will help too
. Maintenance it will become. Am already excited about the good things to come in the new year.