As far as I can tell, the only way to become more comfortable with traffic is to continue to ride in it. It's probably always going to be a bit nerve-racking (at least for me it has been), but it does get better.
The best way to go about getting a bike is to go to your bike shop and get properly fitted. If your local shop allows it, do a couple of demos and find what fits and what you like best. You might end up spending a bit more than you would on something used, but getting something that fits and that you'll use, plus the relationship you'll develop with your local shop, is worth it.
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