Hi Chad,
First, I offer you my sympathy and condolences. I feel for you, brother. I don't know quite what your pain is like, because I have not lost a child, but I have lost loved ones who are dear to me. It is painful, but sometimes, we don't experience all that pain right away.
Having struggled with depression for quite a few years myself, I also know that depression can be particularly difficult for men. We try to be strong and tough, but we can tell something is not right.
I have started a Web site for men who are suffering from depression. We have a great group of guys there and I hope you will join us.
http://www.maledepression.com
Tom Golden also has a site that I recommend.
http://www.webhealing.com
There is a particularly helpful article by Thich Nhat Hanh that I have read recently. It is a short excerpt from his recent book,
No Death, No Fear: Comforting Wisdom for Life (New York: Riverhead Books, 2002).
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/113/story_11310_1.html
Finally, to answer your questions, yes, I have no doubt you're suffering from depression. I am not a doctor, but I encourage you to see one. The decision to seek medical treatment for depression can be a difficult first step, but it can help you so much. If you have a regular family doctor whom you work with, please talk to him or her. That doctor may treat you, or may refer you to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist who can help you, depending on whether the doctor recommends any medication.
Best wishes and healing energy to you, Chad.
Be well and I hope you find peace.
May you live in safety.
May you be healthy.
May you be happy.
May you live with ease.
Steve