[marthand99]

Originally Posted by Karen411

Marty, I have been reading this thread kind of in hit and miss (like everyone else's), but I just read through the whole thing to get an idea of REPAIR and you've pushed me off the fence into getting it. I really enjoyed reading your journey start to finish and you're doing so well! Also, you look wonderful!

Karen, thanks for commenting! I'm glad you are getting the Metabolic Repair Manual. And thanks so much for your nice thoughts!

Originally Posted by misstenacity

Ha! I see you're a Skwigg devotee as well.

Anyway, have a WONDERFUL stuff yerself week - I'll be about 8 days behind you and lots of the emotional things you're writing about are happening to me, as well, but at a lower level. I feel a little better, a little more stable.... but not a big change.

Maybe I should go do some more foam rolling.

Mmmmm, pain au chocolat....

I LOVE Skwigg! Definitely my favorite blog. And now I can't stop saying great googly moogly. LOL

Thanks Andrea! BTW - I'm making my way through articles you sent me. Thanks again for those.

Originally Posted by tcoy777

I second the previous comments. Way to go! Its not easy to see yourself as others do, but over time you will start being more comfortable in your own skin. Congrats.

thanks T! Thanks for all your support through the whole 8 weeks. It means a lot.

Originally Posted by Bytsi

Marty - you're doing so well... every time you type about your emotional journey, I can see the progress you're making in conquering those demons.

In college, I weighed 105# when I started (I'm 5'2"). I thought I was fat, even though I ate tons (oh, to be able to eat like that and not be fat!!!) and had no clue about nutrition. I gained a ton in college (for reasons I won't go into here, but physical and emotional causes). Struggled with weight ever since... and body image.

If only we could just appreciate and love our bodies - especially the STRONG and HEALTHY bodies we are creating. So easy to criticize and pick 'em apart... and you do NOT have "jiggly thighs"!!!

Thanks Bytsi! This is what I need to remember - strong and healthy!! Not jiggly. Appreciating and loving the body I have is exactly what I need to work on.

Originally Posted by LWilson212

Hey Marty-

First off, you look great! Second, is that your house? Those hardwood floors are gorgeous, and all that light coming in the windows! I'm drooling. No wonder your MIL doesn't want to leave.

I remember when I was in high school having gotten down to around 165 and feeling like I looked okay, but still too self-conscious to wear shorts or jeans or a short skirt. When I got up to 200 I looked at those pictures and I was so mad at myself that I had not appreciated what I had at the time. I swore if I ever got that small again I would think I was the hottest thing around! Well of course it doesn't work that way, but I am trying. I think there has to be a place where you may still be trying to make minor adjustments, but at the same time you can sit back and feel sexy and be happy with yourself. I guess that's what we're all trying to find.

BTW: I don't think your thighs are jiggly, for what its worth.

Hi Leah! Thanks!

You said it perfectly - that is how I felt every time I yo-yoed. Never satisfied when I was thinner, but mad at myself for not appreciating it when I was bigger. I think you're right about finding that balance. We'll get there.

Yes, that is my house! Thanks! My husband is a lawyer and moonlights as a real estate agent and had all these really high standards for where we would live. I was like, um, my current apartment is 500 square feet and in an retirement community where I have to fight old ladies for the washing machine - I like EVERYTHING. So I should give him the credit.

Originally Posted by jesca

Marty! You're a hotty girl! You have nothing to worry about, that is fo' sho'.
I do understand how you're feeling though. When my Grandmother passed all these old pictures surfaced so that we could make a collage for the funeral (it was this past December) and there were some from when I was about 15 and weighed around 135. I cannot believe how skinny I was or how good I looked! I also cannot believe that I felt fat then and was always "dieting" whether it was effective or not. I would do just about anything to get back down to that weight. It's so hard to see when you're in it, what you actually look like, and we just have to remember how far we've come.

You've come a long way, baby (hello cheesy cigarette add from the 80s!)

Jes, thanks! Old pictures are so crazy to look at. When I look back, I catch myself defining periods in my life by what weight I was. Which is silly! And it's funny, some of the happiest times of my life have been when I was bigger.

Thanks for all your support during this. I feel like a crazy emotional roller coaster sometimes and it really helps to know that you and Andrea are going through things like this too.