Sometimes, I ask myself why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?
EDIT: I just realized that could go in a very different direction from originally intended, but I decided to leave it

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"If you do not find time to become and remain healthy, you will be obliged to find time to be ill." --George Hackenschmidt
"These Canadians lure you with their kindness and Eskimo stories and then WHAM...you're bent over an IHOP trash can, pants around your knees with nothing but your tears and the smell of blueberry syrup to comfort you." --gobbla