Okay, let's do a little reality check here. You're 5'5", 140 pounds. In no one's book are you "fat" or even "overweight." I'm normally 5'5", 132 pounds, and I'm a size 6 in pants, 4 in dresses. So you're what, an 8 in pants depending on how your body is shaped? You're starting from a lower weight than many people on weight loss and fitness plans, so your weight loss will be slower and more subtle. However, if you consistently work out, you should see results more quickly than someone with a lot of weight to lose.
With that out of the way, I certainly understand if you want to improve yourself. I do too. However, when all is said and done, you just have to DO it. I've admitted to myself that I am not a gym person. I hate it. So, to counteract that, we spent some money and bought a treadmill, a straight bar with weights, and some heavier free weights. An investment? Certainly. But, it might be worth thinking about if consistency in your workouts is lacking because you think you don't have the time or energy to haul yourself to the gym. I have my charts and calendars up in my home gym and it's so easy to keep track, I know I'm just plain lazy if I don't do it.
Second, you may want to adjust your goals slightly. Instead of looking at that big 20 pound mountain (and frankly, I'd be surprised if you can get to 120 lbs when lifting on the NROL4W plan), why don't you make it a goal to lose 5 pounds by May 15th? That will already knock you down a size and make you look/feel much better in a bikini. It's also a very realistic and slow loss plan and will give you the opportunity to enjoy some "favorite" foods along with the healthier stuff.
Third, remember that no one is going to do this for you. It's all you. You can set goals and write in a journal all you want. However, if you don't make the daily commitment to treat yourself better, it's never going to work. I'm not a mom yet, but most of my friends and family have children. I know mom's often feel guilty for doing things for themselves. However, taking care of yourself is not just for you - it's for your kids and husband too. You might as well start now, because developing healthy habits only gets harder the longer you wait and the more ingrained the bad habits get into your daily life.
Fourth, try keeping a food diary for a week on an online site. They're really easy to use. You can chart patterns that way - but be honest.
And lastly - remember, this isn't a race and you don't get an award if you eat perfectly. Frankly, perfection is boring. What's life without an ice cream cone or french fries every now and then?
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