[Mahler]

Mahler's Monday Morning Motivator # 206 - Eulogy for a Grand Lady

I am going to take a few liberties here and post the Eulogy that I wrote for my mother-in-law. It's technically not a Motivator, but so many of you posted your good wishes and I thought some of you might like to get a glimpse of another side of Mahler. My apologies for the religious references. There is no intention to proselytize or offend. My wish for each of you is that you have someone like this in your lives.
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Eulogy for a Grand Lady (delivered 03/18/07)

If you have ever watched an old movie from the 1930’s or 40’s, you have invariably come across that one character in a musical, a drama, or even a comedy, that was somehow very special and completely above reproach. It was the grand lady. The essential features of this character were that she be refined, stately, impeccably dressed, well mannered and a marvelous hostess. Throughout the course of her life, and for all who knew her, Anne Bixby was the epitome of the grand lady.

For her family, she was a devoted wife and mother. For her many acquaintances, she was a trusted friend and confidant. For her God, she was a faithful steward.

Anne and husband, Ken, had a lifelong relationship that exemplified what a marriage should be. That marriage, forged in time of war, tempered in times of peace with hard work and love, resulted in a legacy spanning over 60 years and blessing them with five wonderful children, six grandchildren and two great grandchildren, all here today to honor her, the grand lady of their lives, and each, in some way, carrying on that legacy.

She was the easiest woman in the world to call mom, and she added meaning to that simple word. As her son-in-law ( and I know the daughters-in-law will attest to this ) mom always made you feel loved and appreciated. You did not simply marry one of her children. You were reborn into her family and cherished as one of her very own.

Mom didn’t just celebrate life, by recognizing the special events that came with each passing year. She nurtured life by finding ways to bring family and friends together. She delighted in entertaining and could always be counted on to make holidays, birthdays and other special occasions so much more than just dates on a calendar. Every thing she did, seemed to have a special touch. She was an amazing lady in the kitchen, being able to whip up some pretty lavish meals on those red letter days, yet somehow, when you just dropped by unexpectedly, having the knack of making a sandwich seem like a gourmet delight.

Anne Bixby was a gentle and creative spirit. From the time she was a young girl she exhibited considerable talent as an artist. Working primarily in oils, she applied her talent to record scenes from her childhood, portraits of family members and vignettes of their life experiences as well as expressing her own admiration for the beauty around her in her many nature scenes and still-lifes. And, as has been the trademark of this generous soul, if you admired something that she had created, chances are, at some point down the road, it became yours. Family and friends have gathered many of those works which have been on display these past few days and they will return with their various owners as valued mementoes of this grand lady.

She had an eye for beauty and an appreciation of all that was beautiful. If something caught her attention, you always knew that she was pleased when she used the Anne Bixby stamp of approval. And that stamp was summed up in a single word; “gorgeous.” I can recall many a time when Ruth and I would be on one of our weekend treks with mom and dad through the antique shops. Mom would stop, her face would light up, and then would come the word. Isn’t that gorgeous. Dad would start to reach for his wallet, right then and there. What was more revealing about these excursions, however, were that many of those “gorgeous” purchases, were not for herself, but something special for someone she loved.

As we are assembled here in this church that she loved so dearly, we are reminded that the anchor of this woman’s existence, the foundation upon which she built a life, a marriage, a family and a home, was her deep and abiding faith. She had a passion for all that was good and pure and right, but was never heard to utter a word of condemnation against those who could not rise to those standards. Instead, she was a woman of great compassion and even greater charity, freely giving of her time, resources and talent to all, serving in this parish on the Saint Vincent de Paul Society, as a Eucharistic Minister, as a member of the Bereavement Committee and on the Parish Council.

In light of this faith, how appropriate it seems that she has taken her leave of us at this most holy time of the year as we commemorate the triumphant entrance of her savior into Jerusalem and his journey of sacrifice and death, culminating in his Resurrection, promised to all who believe. And this was a woman who surely believed and will surely know the truth of god’s promise.

No one ever entered her home who did not feel completely welcome. No one ever entered her presence who did not feel completely befriended. No one ever entered her heart who did not feel completely loved.

As the story of the remarkable life of this grand lady comes to a close and, as in those cherished films of a bygone day, the background fades and the credits begin to scroll up on the screen, we all, all of us, have so many fond memories, so many recollections of good times, so many secret and pleasant thoughts about Anne. It becomes an easy, almost a casual thought, to imagine that because she was such a gift to all of us, always wrapped up in her best wrapping, always showing us what was most beautiful and right with the world, that she stands in the brightness of her new home, and Christ must surely be walking toward her, looking at her with a big smile and saying, “hello, gorgeous.”