Originally Posted by rixatrix
Thanks to everyone for the support. I think I'm going to make it through today with just a couple scratches. I've been pretty crabby all day, but I've made a few decisions.
One, I'm buying an electronic food scale. I already measure, but, well, why not be fanatical about weighing, too? Ha!
Two, I'm taking my calories back up to "maintenance" when I start lifting Stage 2 next week. Because I didn't do it properly before - I only did it for about a week.
Three, I'm putting the scale away for the length of time I'm on maintenance. Two weeks, to start, I think. Then a check in.
Because honestly, I think the frustration comes from not knowing what to do now, and I don't know what to do because I don't know whether I need to eat more or less. If I honestly give "maintenance" a run, then I'll know what MY body needs, instead of just an estimate. Maybe my metabolism is slow and I do need to cut low. Or maybe it just seems slow because left to my own devices, I don't eat as much as I should. That's valuable information.
Patience is really just what gets me. I want to have lost a few pounds before I meet my family for Easter brunch...I want to have lost a few pounds before I hit the beach...I want to have lost a few pounds before I go on a family vacation in August...but these are all superficial deadlines. What matters is that I keep working out, being healthy, and making progress in knowledge of my body. Blindly guessing in the dark is a nightmare. I want to KNOW how many calories I should eat. There's always going to be an event I want to look a little slimmer for...because overall, I just want to BE a little slimmer, and that's worth the effort.
So, I plan to go to Meijer tonight and check out the scales...and then do some cardio or yoga at home. And eat my lean steak and green beans, yum.
I did have a big bowl of Reese's Peanut Butter Puff Cereal for breakfast - with a scoop of protein powder for damage control (don't even ask why I had this in the house, it's gone now), and after lunch I had a can of Izze sparkling fruit juice. Honestly, I think I still made my calorie range for the day, and cutting myself some slack on the food side of things while I was freaking out made me feel instantly a little less fanatical. (I just don't think 1600 is enough, why do I keep shooting for it?)
And I'm craving the weight room. I was going to start again on Monday (my last Stage 1 workout being last Sunday), but I took Friday off work as a personal day, and I'm chomping at the bit to get back in there. I feel much better about myself when I'm focusing on what my body can do.
Thanks again, everyone, for the words of encouragement.
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