Im late and dont have alot of time to write (and not sure if anyone else said it)...but I would seriously consider leaving your wife (with your son) if she isnt doing much to help your (or your sons) situation...or at least threaten to leave her. It almost sounds like a care-giving relationship, and it will make it 10 times harder for you to be happy/successful if you are pulling your weight, and the weight of someone who isnt adding to the relationship...Ive been there, so Im speaking from experience.
At any rate, you are in my prayers and I hope everything works out for you.
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