Ray,
I too, think you need to speak to a professional. This is no way to continue; you deserve to be happy, even if it feels like work.
Your son needs you, and he needs you to be healthy. If an hour away from him every day means that you'll be on this earth for another 20 years, then make that commitment, if not for you, then for him!!! Think of the wonderful example you'll be showing him. When he gets older, he can join you on this journey.
I've been your wife, or close enough anyway. She makes those comments because she's insecure and she knows that you're making good choices. Hell, she probably wants desperately to make those choices with you, but knows that it will be work. DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR NEED TO BE HEALTHY. I cannot stress that enough.
Please speak to someone, a professional, and don't leave this place. These people are good people, and you'll find support here. I'll be thinking of you.
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