I'm having a bad couple days. Fought with a friend yesterday. Fought with my parents today. They really have a way of making me feel worthless. They bring up things I've done in the past that have nothing to do with what we're talking about. And whenever they can't think of something good to come back with, they just call me a name. Immature, asshole, son of a bitch (can't really figure that one out, coming from them), tell me I'm acting like I'm two years old, or I'm being "mouthy" (I fucking hate that, and they know that, so they say it all the fucking time. I'm 20, I'm not mouthy anymore. fuck), tell me I'm not smart or something I did wasn't, etc.
I try and stay calm, I speak as softly as I can because they say my voice is too deep and they feel intimidated by me. I'm as polite as I can possibly be while I'm angry, and then they freak on me and escalate the situation, and then they blame me for causing a fight. Then I tell them to stay calm and to have a conversation with me, instead of just yelling and imitating me (repeating things I say, but wrong). Then they say who are you now, dr phil? You know how to act and why we react the way we do, you know everything? What have you been reading Marisa's psychology books or something? You're Dr Phil now?
I wish I could afford to move out. Closer to school. No problems.
ugh.
Sorry. I needed to vent.
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And major action will certainly make you feel a bit uncomfortable, which is absolutely fine. You've gotta get excited about feeling uncomfortable, you've gotta love feeling slightly uncomfortable, because you know that you're stepping outside the boundaries that you used to create.
Zach Even-Esh
I've made some huge mistakes, but they were necessary, because without them I wouldn't have learned anything.
-Dave Tate
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