Quote:
Originally Posted by gregl515
Sign:
Its good for you to vent and this is a good place for it.
You need to find some place for your anger and depression. I didn't until too late and it contributed to my illness and loss of my leg.
I got angry and depressed when my wife got sick (breast cancer). I tried to be a helpmate to her and stay positive but inside I was angry and fatalistic. She recovered from her cancer but I didn't recover from my anger and depression. During the whole course of the disease I cursed God and asked why she got sick when she was a good person doing good things and why not me, a not so good person trying to get criminals out of jail. I set myself up for illness by feeding my anger, self destructiveness and my depression. When I got out of the hospital, my wife left me because, in her words, "You'll never change." she got tired of me being depressed.
Now I'm trying to put things together. I could have avoided some of this if I had found a way to deal with my frustrations in a less destructive manner.
Please deal with it.
By the way, I miss my cats. Not my wife as much anymore I think because I am working hard at moving forward.
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You are entirely right about avoiding feeding the anger. I am reminded of JPs old signature about the two wolves. I couldn't remember it word for word so I did a quick google and come up with this version of it (same thing just a bit longer)
Quote:
An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life . . .
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil---he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.
The other is good ---he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"
The Elder simply replied, "The one you feed."
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I begun to find outlets for my frustrations, some of which include continued posting in this thread. I still don't really have anyone I can talk to personally about things but in a way I don't even know if I could. It is much easier to type them here or simply type/write them up to get the thoughts out and delete them after I see how silly most of them really are.
I would like to provide this advanced warning, I may continue to use this thread to vent. If I do I will post it in a white font, that way, you don't have to read it, and if you really want to (out of morbid curiosity?) you can simply highlight the text.
I have a question also for some of you that have had to deal with anger/depression. What are some ways that you found to help quell the angry thoughts? I found myself thinking a lot on the drive back home (about 1.5 hours) and a random idea popped into my head to create a little message to post up in my room as motivation to workout. Unfortunately the concept of the message wasn't exactly .... healthy, I guess. I wanted to put a picture of my cat and a picture of my ex with her new dou... boyfriend (which is plastered all over her facebook account) with a message of "They took him [Molson] from you, you might only get one chance! [to knock the dickheads teeth out if I see him]" Just the thought of that brought a big smile to my face. I know it is wrong, I know those are the thoughts I need to get away from but I couldn't help think about doing it for most of my drive. I find I workout more often, and harder when I am angry/mad. Something about the rage just gets me going, maybe it's just the primal nature of it but when I am angry I have some of the best workouts and move some of the most weight I ever have.
Ah well, that is enough random crap for today. Someone please yell at me and tell me not to make that poster. Sometimes I just need to be called a retard and to smarten up by someone else, I am good at talking myself into doing things I shouldn't.