I don't think you find happiness after a search. I think you find happiness when you allow yourself to see it. And of course you're not always happy, that'd be irritating to everyone else in the world.
And while it's useful to acknowledge that others may have it worse, it doesn't invalidate your own suffering.
I don't think that getting new cats a month after our beloved mousie died means that we somehow invalidated and cheapened the 7-8 years we had with her. People react differently to loss. Have different mourning/grieving times. Vary in how they recover and move on.
Even if your relationship was somehow less to her, it doesn't mean anything now, especially about you. It is about her.
Even mild depression is bad to go completely alone. (Says one who didn't realize the problem till it was no longer a problem.) Keep someone to talk to. Here, in real life, someone you pay or don't... You need the outlet to get thoughts out, rather than just holding them in an ever looping self-dialog that makes it tough to move on. Saying things, writing things, somehow getting them out... it slowly helps to dissipate the crap to more manageable levels and lets you move on.
Have a pet? Kittehz and doggiez can provide much needed fun, love, and distraction.
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