Greg - some good questions. Don't know that I have good answers.
The longer I live the more I think that we perceive ourselves as having far greater control over our lives than we really do.
Another odd thing, the less we think we can control our children, our family, friends, and acquaintances probably the more effective we are at exercising some control.
And the more we can accept ourselves as we are, the more comfortable we are with ourselves, probably the more we can direct what we do in our lives.
Most of the time we prefer to live in the fictitious reality we assemble about our life. My joke from the pulpit about this was that God in His infinite mercy allowed us not to perceive all our sins. I love my denials, and as I get older I have greater tolerances for other people's denials about their reality.
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