[Mahler]

Mahler’s Monday Morning Motivator # 45 – The Night Before Christmas

Good morning guys.
Well the clock is winding down and soon it will be Christmas. Last year I wrote a
poem to celebrate the season and bring some cheer to all you lifters out there. I was
not doing the Motivator back then, so I thought this year I would repeat it and make
it an official entry into the annals of Mahler’s Monday Morning Motivator. I hope you
enjoy this “tongue in cheek” re-writing of Clement Moore’s classic.

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A Visit From ?

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the gym
Not a lifter was stirring, all waiting for him.
The Olys were hung by the plate rack with care
In the hope that the big guy so soon would be there.

The kiddies were snuggled real tight in their beds
While visions of dead lifts just danced in their heads.
And the wife in her flannel and I in the nude
Had just gone to bed to do something real crude.

When out in the yard there was made such a fit
That whoever was out there would be in deep sh!t.
So then to the window I lunged like a beast
And when opened the cold made it shrink to say the least.

The light from the streetlamp as it glared on the slush
Gave the ground the appearance of oatmeal or mush.
And rounding the corner real fast, what the hell
Was a muscle car tricked out with everything swell.

With a driver so pumped and incredibly buff,
I knew without thinking he must do that stuff.
And his bros in their cars how they squealed ‘round the bend
As he whistled and shouted and called each his friend.

Hey, Schuler, hey Mejia, hey JP, let’s swing,
Hey Ballantine, Cosgrove, Berardi and King.
Come on park it here, put it next to the curb
We will rock this place good, give some life to this burb.

As whey powder spilled before a breeze starts to fly
Or it blows and gets carried and gets in your eye.
So up to the curb the lead car pulled askew,
With a trunk full of stuff and the dude in full view.

And then, in a second, as his horn gave a toot,
On the walk I could then hear the sound of each boot.
As I drew back and grabbed for a robe from the floor,
Right into the house the crew came through my door.

The dude he was dressed really great, nice and fine
With a sweat suit from Amazon that he ordered on-line.
A sh!tload of gear he had flung on his bod
In a gym bag that bulged like a really pumped quad.

His eyes, they were focused, his cheeks they were chiseled
And the beard on his chin was close cut, kind of grizzled
A chunk of beef jerky he held in his teeth
And a sweatband encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a lean face and a tight washboard belly
He had done lots of ab work, so no sign of jelly
He was muscled and lean, a right fit kind of guy
And I gasped when I saw him, no fit one was I.

But a wink of his eye and a strange hulking leer
Soon led me to feel I had nothing to fear,
He didn’t say much, but he started to work
First he squatted and then did a great clean and jerk.

Then laying some presents there next to the tree
Out the door the dude went with a laugh of great glee.
He jumped in his car, to his bros gave a whistle
And away they peeled out like a nuclear missile.

But I heard him then bellow as I watched the whole pack
Happy Christmas to all, don’t forget, I’ll Be Back.

(2003 – John Gesselberty)
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You work hard all year long. Enjoy the season.

To the friends I have met;
To the friends I will meet someday;
To the friends I will never meet but will know on this forum,
Merry Christmas and my very best for a peace filled and blessed holiday.

(Please note: There will be no MMMM the week of the 27th so, Happy New Year too!)


In Fitness & Friendship,
Mahler